Dear lovely Readers,

I'm touched by all of your concern. I appreciate all your advices. Thanks so much. I know you want the best for me. I've taken all your words into my fullest consideration. All of your advices mean so much to me. Be it the negatives or the positives. I treasure them so much. (:

However, my readers, my apologies if my decision triggers any emotions in your heart. To me, if my heart is sincere in loving him, even if he hurts me that much, i would sincerely forgive him and gives him another chance. No man is born perfect without any mistakes. I may not know what was running through his mind at that point of time, when he did that mistake. Perhaps, he was too confused. Too sudden to absorb anything to his mind. As a human and as someone who loves him truly, i should understand him and the position he was in.

I am angry, no doubt. But if i were to only see the negativities in him, and all the faults he made, wouldnt that mean, i'm dwelling on this matter? When this can actually be settled in a good way.

Remember, in every trials and sorrows He gives us, He has a reason. God is always fair to his people and never fail to give us chances every now and then, despite the disappointments we've given him. Thus, what status do i have not to forgive Hasif and who am i not to give him another chance?

After knowing my decision, once again, i apologise if i have disappoint any one here. Believe me, that's never my intention. I'm just following my heart, who's sincerely loves Hasif truly.

Thanks for the understanding (:

Just as i thought, everything is going on perfectly fine, it seems like many things are still lacking. All the million thoughts that kept swirling in my little head just couldn't get itself out. I truly miss the time when i'm out with someone without having to worry about anything, doing just nothing with each other's companion. A great outing those were with smiles in within.

Craving for various kind of titbits, lazing around the coastline, chatting about all sorts of thing with the refreshing breeze to sweep the feet off. Definitely there is someone in the mind for whom i wanna share those moments with. Unfortunately, I couldnt foresee it to be coming all true.

The wraft is just so strong that i feel like abandoning red away.

Labels: Time Check: 09:45 PM

And now, why on earth am i crying a river?

[P. Diddy - talking]
Hold up, let me answer my phone
Some bitch callin me about some bullshit probably
I'ma call you right back
I'm doin this mixtape right here
Now back to what I was sayin

[Verse 1 - Mario Winans]
Somebody said they saw you
The person you were kissing wasn't me
And I would never ask you
I just kept it to myself

[Chorus - Mario Winans]
I don't wanna know
If your playin me, keep it on the low
Cause my heart can't take it anymore
And if your creepin, please don't let it show
Oh baby, I don't wanna know

[Verse 2 - Mario Winans]
Oh baby
I think about it when I hold you
When lookin in your eyes, I can't believe
I don't need to know the truth
Baby keep it to yourself

[Chorus - Mario Winans]
I don't wanna know
If your playin me, keep it on the low
Cause my heart can't take it anymore
And if your creepin, please don't let it show
Oh baby, I don't wanna know

[Break - Mario Winans]
Did he touch you better then me (touch you better then me)
Did he watch you fall asleep (watch you fall asleep)
Did you show him all those things that you used to do to me (do to me baby)
If your better off that way (better off that way)
Baby what I like to say (all that I can say)
Go on and do your thing and don't come back to me
(Stay away from me baby)

[Verse 3 - P. Diddy]
I don't wanna know where your whereabouts or how you movin
I know when you in the house or when you cruisin
It's been proven, my love you abusin
I can't understand, how a man got you choosin (yeah)
Undecided, I came and provided ma
My undivided, you came and denied it (why?)
Don't even try it, I know when you lyin (I know when you lyin)
Don't even do that, I know why you cryin (stop cryin)
I'm not applyin no pressure, just wanna let you know
That I don't wanna let you go (I don't wanna let you go)
And I don't wanna let you leave
Can't say I didn't let you breathe
Gave you extra cheese (c'mon), put you in the SUV
You wanted ice so I made you freeze
Made you hot like the West Indies (that's right)
Now it's time you invest in me
Cause if not then it's best you leave
Holla, yeah

[Chorus - Mario Winans]
I don't wanna know
If your playin me, keep it on the low
Cause my heart can't take it anymore
And if your creepin, please don't let it show
Oh baby, I don't wanna know

If your playin me, keep it on the low
Cause my heart can't take it anymore
And if your creepin, please don't let it show
Oh baby, I don't wanna know

If your playin me, keep it on the low
Cause my heart can't take it anymore
And if your creepin, please don't let it show
Oh baby, I don't wanna know

Labels: Time Check: 11:26 PM

I miss the old me.
In need of getting back on track during the holidays.
Many things are awaiting.

Labels: Time Check: 11:32 PM

Beneath those disappointments, it actually potrays your concern for me. In which that really touches my heart deep down.

I was late for exam. Thus, upon reaching the hall, i hurriedly placed my bag at any random shelf that caught my eyes, sharing it with a stranger. After the paper has ended, i took my handphone out before I saw the screen stated, "insert sim card". Initially i thought, perhaps something was wrong with the position of the card. While i was walking out of the hall, to my dismay, the card wasnt there. It went missing. Told the classmates around me about the incident. Tried searching again for the card, which prolly had slipped off from the phone, but sadly, it was to no avail. Not to mention about the security guard who apparently dosent seem to understand. He was shooing us away, even at the staircase itself which was quite a distance from the exam hall. Annoying much that was, but then again, couldnt really mock him; a duty is one's responsibility.

Despite the scoldings i got from ♥♥, at heart, i know, he actually care for me. For my well being especially. Whatever he said and all of his advices, really remind me of Ayah. I didnt really take Ayah's words into consideration despite the umpteen times of getting scolded. Instead i chucked them all aside due to the harsh content. Now, this is the mishap i have to overcome. A learning point of never to act obstinately, which leads to carelessness. At a whole, i really have to change my negligence attitude. And be more sensitive towards the surrouding.

♥♥, thanks for being there by my side. The expression on your face and the great efforts you put in, in helping me out really says alot about you, regarding your sincerity in being with me.

On the disappointing note, our regular morning, afternoon & night calls will be temporary inactivity. Sobs. Gonna miss him real bad. I supposed he's feeling the same way too :)

However, after much discussing over at school, we're gonna go back to our olden days. Those days where everything was suppressed, trying to act cool about the feelings for each other. Teehee. Webcammy! ((:

Excited. I can't wait. Anticipating tonight, definitely! (:

Anyhow, both Maths and Digital electronics were manageable than i thought they would be. Thanks to those who sincerely gave their helping hands to assist me with the modules. I really owe you people one! (: Electric Circuit next before the start of the holiday (:

1046, i hope to atleast pass it. Wasnt really prepared for it. Gosh.

Saturday with LiveAudios peeps over at Marina i assumed? And Sunday with the O-Eng peeps hitting the books at Tea dot, Tamp 1. Woohoo! (:

Labels: Time Check: 08:56 PM

True enough, a connection between two during the early stage can be very complicated. Thus, in order to maintain a strong and successful one, both partners must accept the things that they need to work at. Simply put, both must realise that in any form of connection/relationship, there is NO such thing as perfection. For there is always the possibility of problems that might occur, in which both parties need to understand with full hindsight. By taking consistent effort to ensure that the connection states between duo survives, that is!

Lack of communication is the biggest cause to a failed connection ties. With it, one person could not understand the other's perspective. Thus, no doubt, communication is the key in every form of relationship/connection. It's clear; the more you communicate your thoughts and feelings to one another, the more understanding you will have.

You skipped your class for me, to let me feel your presence, to ease my insecurities, to wind down my vulnerability.

You hugged me tight, to let me feel your limitless love, to let me shun all negativities away, to let me breathe a new set of confidence in this genuine thing between us. Though me, with my facade, trying my very best to be all strong.

You contacted my mum to cool me down, trying all sorts of way to subside all those irritable emotions in me. You ran after the lorry i was in, to have your sight on me. You travelled to my granny's place, to be near me.

You made a journey to my block despite the night and the sore leg you suffered in. You kept me company through the wee, to ensure my well being, notwithstanding the weariness you felt after a long hard day on me.

A day may have a few hours. A day may easily be forgotten. A day may seem just a day to oneself. But that day, on the twenty-first of february, you really made my day. A day where your love really truly engulfs inside of me. I love you.

I never made a wrong move when i chose you. I never regretted having you as my one and only. A man may have different flowers BUT he has ONLY one rose. I believe in that. And i believe in your love♥♥

p/s: Marine Parade Library with the darling classmate afterwards :)

Labels: Time Check: 01:00 PM

Tons of thing were bombarding my head in the previous entry. Friday. I was faithfully waiting for your call, thinking about you all day long. During the wee, finally at 1.30am, i could finally hear your voice. Imagine how elated i was when i picked it up. A call that ive been waiting for hours, trying hard not to fall asleep. Sadly, it was just for mere minutes before you bid me goodbye. I was sad. Perhaps you were too tired and i let you to have your sleep. Little did i know that you were with someone else hours before. More disappointing when i knew nuts about it. Prolly you fear that i would think all negatives. Gosh, if you were to think that way, it just means that you've yet to know the real me. Worst, when i got to know that apparently the fault is on me, stating that i'm being ignorant of the efforts you put in this special thing between us. Imagine how sank my heart was the moment i stumbled into it. My apologies for everything.

Labels: Time Check: 11:00AM

Each time when i'm out with someone. Especially with the other gender, i'd never keep that a secret. I'd say it out, to avoid all conflicts, to avoid any misunderstandings. We've talked through this a million time. Yet, apparently you dosent seem to care. Ive tried my best to make this special thing between us work. Somehow, i sensed that you're saying things about me behind. What wrong have i done? You're the reason why i always think foolishly. Why must there be secrets between us when YOU, YOURSELF denoted that there shouldnt be any. I'm not having grudges on anyone. Only this is what i feel. I doubt its gonna be easy the next time round. I need time alone!

NO POOL TODAY. i backed out. Sorry people!


ive lost my trust in you.

Labels: Time Check: 10:023 PM

I couldnt be more thankful for having such a wonderful little sister who would stay by me through rain or shine. The one who would never fail to illuminate me with her joyous light (: I love you, sayang (:

She was in my arms, when a sudden question abruptly crossed her mind. It did make me ponder a little, hehs.

Question:
What will happen if i were to have a partner who has an extreme tight and busy schedule. More or less the question was.

That question dosen't really seem just an ordinary to me. It holds a heavier message inside; A clash between Reality and Irreality. Girls and boys may have a mindset that relationships are meant to soak them up with happiness. Thus, to them, a smooth sailing one with every now and then meet ups are appropriate. Hmms.

Well, true, at times, you need to rely on someone. But bear this in mind, NOT all the time. Back to little sister's question. Upon hearing it, i instantly put myself into the character's shoe. Extreme tight and busy schedule, which means at times, his chore could be more significant. In another words, to be a good partner, i truly need to be understanding here. Without it, everything will definitely go haywire, which many lacks in, be it in both parties. Like i said, most have the mindset that relationships are meant to have a frequent meet up and them, being the only priority in their partner's life. Which are to me, they're exactly false.

If that do happen to me in real life, i would... well, i have something in mind. Definitely won't say it out here. Haha. Just that, anything for that one and only, who's always there. But... dont ask me, i donnoe where. Nyahaha. (:

Okay, ignore about relationships. A pact has been made between Su, Shaq, Val, Mac and me over at Botanic garden yesterday. Which is to remain the singlehood status and mingle around with people of different walks of life throughout this three years journey. 2012 shall be the year where everything changed. Muahaha. And i'm keeping myself to it.

UNLESS..... unless if along the way, BY CHANCE, I met my very prince charming who could break the pact away with his very own special way? Nyahaha. Like both Haizad Imran and Taufik Batisah? (: Well, i doubt so. *smiles*

Heading Jemputan over at Tampines, followed by pool with the coursemate and Yoga's house for another session of squeezing the brain juice. hee :)

p/s: i love walking home alone from a distant area. The next round, anyone? (:

Labels: Time Check: 10:07 AM

I vow to rant happiness from today onwards. I vow to minimise the griefs in life. Regrets, no doubt, they are are inevitable. But as long as we know the boundaries and are willing to take each and every of those mishaps into a learning point, I'm sure everything will be on the right path.

Something miracle. I know it isn't going to happen but somewhere there, deep down inside, i believe there is an inch of hope. Ever since i realised it in my facebook notification, something just assured me it is there. After which, a greeting was brought up. A sudden acknowledgement that was. Though it was only a brief, yet it could make the heart jump for joy. A starting point that was. Prolly. Nevertheless, i'm never gonna put my finger onto it. Perhaps, this only acts as a spectacle for the oblivous blind sight i have.

Truth is, I'm starting to take consideration about my future. Life isn't just a dream, nor a fantasy like how i always think it is. It needs planning, some sort of a predictor to predict and subsequently minimise any sorrows that might cost oneself in the near future. Emotions and feelings aren't the only consideration that has to be prioritised. There are other vital things that need to be taken care of.

Labels: Time Check: 09:30 PM