Noticed that if something is still in your posession, you'll tend to ignore it, being ignorant of its presence. But once it has gone, you'll be down with miserable, trying to gain it back once again.

Meeting up with the girls on this coming Monday. It's gonna be hectic. I'm missing them. Not to forget that place. The place which unites us. Also the place which led us to various arguments. But thanks to them, they actually strengthed the bond between us. (:

I'm missing 2005! That year, full of laughters and joy. That year, where i was at the peak of the coaster. That year, like a dream in a reality world. So surreal!

Bottomline is, treasure what you have now. Don't mistreat them for you'll be surprised of how short time is. In future, you'll never know what has it got for you. The present shall not always be there. Despite that, chin up. Cause along the years, you'll get double the happiness. Appreciate the thing you own it now - The reason to your future delights.

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I've got it good. I'm thankful. But part of me is in reluctance. I've got to change it somehow. Neutralising it into chemically neutral. I need to put a stop into this chemistry. Its breaking not only one party but both. The hurts i felt has overwhelmed me that i tend not see things in a clearer node. I dont wish to have that kind of effect to have a great impact on me. I'm sorry dear you. I shouldnt have instilled that kind of emotion. I will try to subside it. And if ever a day it haunts me once again, i'll try my hardest to think rationally and never to jump into any silly conclusions. I'm beginning to have trust in you, love.

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Geylang later~
Miss that sourheart so much! HAHS! (:

Labels: Time Checked: 2.36 PM

People say, Don't play with fire if you dont wish to burn yourself.

Ever since that day onwards, i made a vow to never get myself involved in this kind of issues. I promised not to play with this kind of games and get the eyes to sore. As vulnerable as it is, i made a decision to take good care of it by staying myself away from those uneeded stuffs.

Despite being all neutral and zero, the effect is still intense. How can i prolong this? It will only jeopardize the thing that is already alive. I never want it to die. If only i could go back to square one, i'd do just anything for it. Just anything. You name it, i'll do. But naah, i believe it'd be hard to adapt to that long gone atmosphere.

Trust is really a big word to me. Especially in this game of hearts. The cracks from those days are still healing. Yet to recover. The key is with you. Don't misuse it. I plead.

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Been awhile since i went simpang. Breaking my fast over at that place with those boys. Nasi Pattaya and Longan Drink. Couldnt finish up the food. Good thing that Hasif has a big appetite. Phew. Thanks, you (: Somehow, im craving for..... Poppye? Heading there with Rafi on this coming Wed, Yay! (:

Am fully book next week. Results in a months time. I'm biting my fingers now! *Scratch head* I still wanna be with my 0909! Speaking of which, 090909 is coming reaaaal soooon, 0909's special date! So sweeeeeet! (: Haha..

I waana meeeet many many people now!!
Especially those people...........................

Azeez, Dz and lain lain bila nk meeeet up nie? (:

Labels: Time Checked: 10:12 PM

Being swept over by the negative thoughts.

I'm okay now.

Yay.

They're just humans like me. So?

It's pretty normal for me to feel this way.

But i have to extinguish it out and awaaay from my life.

The reason why i hate having this kind of petty feelings.

Petty? Yea, for me.

Takecare!

Labels: Time Check: 12:30AM

First & foremost, Happy belated 46th Birthday to my dad! Hehs! (:
It has been days since his birthday yet only now then i have the time to wish it down here. Gosh!



My boyfriend. My lover. My sweetheart. The dearest one whom i'll keep dearly close to my heart. The one who is always there to hear me out, be it whereever and whenever. The closest buddy who knows me in and out. The one whom i'll never fail to wait by the door each time when he's near to home. The hand ill never forget to kiss as a form of respect and love. The one whom i'd lie down beside with and talk all things out throughout the night. The cuddle whom i'll yearn for each night and the advises whom ill never get tired listening from.Thanks for always believing in me. Thanks for the support that u have given in me. It's truly a blessing to have you as a father. I love you. And i really do.

Semestral Exams in days time. Starting from Monday onwards and will only ends on the following week. After which, a holiday that is. Somehow or rather, it seems that this holiday is gonna be packed with loads of thing. Outings which consist of several meet ups. Definitely i can't wait for it to come. Anticipating it dearly! Woohoo! (: I wanna visit Bartley Sec. I'm missing that school to the very bits of pieces. A place where i learnt what true patience is. Hahs! Imagine, liking a person for five freaking years silently? LOL! okay, old story. Hehs (: But I'm glad that the friendship between me and him is still as strong as ever. Gosh! I'm sure you know who you are and i'm sure u're reading this! You takecare okay! And be happy always hehs! All blessings with you, you dearest one! *Flying Hugs!* Hahs! (Okay, lame!)




Good thing that all have ended. None of them remained. The heart became peaceful and calm, cleaned from those massive mess. Alhamdulillah (:


Regret then clouded around me. But it all had happened. All i could do is to just take them as a learning point for the upcoming challenges that will be held to me.

Well, what's now? I'm not in the mood to be tied down by any unofficial ties. Hahs. What do i mean by unofficial? Well, it's the relationship that you always heard. To me, the chances of seperating and be back to strangers are highly up. Even though, i'm a risk taker, but not in the game of hearts. I'm afraid that i'd just break down and stupidity would overcome both my emotions and mentality. Worst stage if physically sufferings were to also get involved. Gosh, i rather stay away from those anguish and get my life be as straight as now.



No doubt, i have eyes on people. And it's quite confusing if the heart couldnt really communicate that well with the mind. The battle of the heart and mind. Sounds familiar. A phrase which i loved to rant about some years back then. Thus, unfortunately, i'm currently hit by the same kind of problem which i used to face before. Gosh! What the heck! I never like this to happen. And never hope that this kind of thing would ever stumble upon me ever again. But i guess, it's out of my control.

Kaseh:
Pelik. Of all many people, kenapa dorang juga yang dapat melekat kat hati akak?

The heart says this but the mind says that.

Told someone this....





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Stop me. Prevent me. Block my way.

Labels: Time Checked: 09:56 AM

You know, i never thought i could go through alot of things within just a year. Those experiences are now i possesed and viewed as an asset. Something i can never replaced with. So valuable that it planted a smile on my face with tears brimming in my eyes.

It has been a year since this blog is up, still as strong as ever. A year may seem a short period to some people but seeing how this blog has been there for me through ups and down, really swayed my heart to treasure it even more. If only it is truly a person, ill be the utmost devoted to him. Sadly, it is just a mere diary.

I once had another treasurable blog. a3ynn@blogspot. For 3 years, we've been together. However, it was to no last. It ended the time when i was still in my 16. I thought we could be forever. Unfortunately fate wasnt on our side and thus, we had to finally bid each other goodbye.

Some people; be it friends, couples, colleagues, families, owners & their pets, classmates, schoolmates etc. may have said this to one another; never to go away from each others' life and be always there together through thick or thin, no matter what price it takes. Time waits for no one. As time passes by, new things will come by and new experiences will be implemented. Thus, there is a great possibility that the old one will be replaced like the displacement reaction of metals.

Setiap kali ombak memukul, pantai berubah, inikan pula mengikuti peredaran masa & masa itu tidak menjanjikan kerana masa slalu meninggalkan.

The birth of that phrase the time when the thoughts were running through my mind.

Though the heart is One, it still can varies. Thus, im afraid to look forward to tomorrow. Something which isn't seem to be me at all. Something i dont quite sure why it has that great effect on me. Denying the Undeniable, perhaps.

If only there is no INNITIAL, prolly this matter won't be brought up at all. In fact, it wont bring that much thought in me. 4 months ago, everything was normal. Unexpectedly, it accelerates within those period.... So fast. I wish I could just stop the time. Sadly, no. Suratul-Asr. That surah really wakens me up to Reality.

The surah begins with Time and ends with Sabr which is Patience . Sabr is the shrinking of time. For instance, if we want to eat a fruit which is not yet ripe, we know we have to wait for it to ripen and we agree to do so. Thus, What we are doing is shrinking the time into "zero time". - Patience

Time... Patience....
Well, If you look at the lives of great people. There is one thing in common. Which is we all have 24 hrs in a day. But the way they used their time has made the difference.

Labels: Time Checked: 1.04 PM

It is blissful, blessed with beautful things. With you, I feel so at ease, as though my world is painted with beautiful rainbows, with beautiful butterflies flying around it. That kind of beauty. Something so amazing. Truly one of a kind.

Sadly, everything will sure come to an end. It will soon become memories in times to come. You and me will be out from all dictionaries. Like rainbows, it will fade away and butterflies, will move away to another vicinity. In short, everything is not constant. It'll vary. By the thought of this, really gripped me with fear. No doubt, I am afraid of losing you. Perhaps, we are. But, nothing can change the absolute fact that everything will be nothing more but just history.

Seperti Nasi Minyak, sebelum merasainya, harumannya dan kelazatannya sungguh menyelerakan. Namun, setelah ia disantap, seperti lazimnya, kenikmatannya akan terus pudar dan lantas, hilanglah keistimewaannya. Sungguh menyedihkan.

I dont wish that theory to be instilled in this special ties of ours. I rather let it go now than later. I rather we be strangers than being so closed and ended up in tears and pain. I rather you hate me that ure being hated. Cause now, everything is in a terrible haze. I'm in total confusion.

I'm sorry for taking back my words. I'm sorry for this sudden entry. I'm sorry for everything. Like I've said, I'm not fit to be a friend of yours. Exclude me out from your circle and I'll assure you happiness for a lifetime. I'm still missing you, and i hate it, cause i cant seem to bear this missing presence. Perhaps, it'd be good if i were to burn this feeling like how you told me to burn that tissue away. Speaking of which, worry not, everything will become ashes in times to come. It'll soon come!

Labels: Time Checked: 12.37 PM

I miss us hanging around Singapore together!
I miss being tightly hugged by them both!
And most of all, i miss my hair!
My long hair! Ahhh!











Caaaaaaaan i have my long hair back pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?
I wonder why on earth i decided to cut my hair like thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis..................
Hmmm......




Today................

I don't feel like blogging. I wanna watch movies. Excited for tomorrow. Meeting Bernice at Bedok inter and off we'll go singing the birthday song to Nabilah! Haha! Will update about it once ive reached home from the pit, hehs =D

Should have met both Haqim and Sabri today. However, at the very last minute, i decided to just stay at home. To both of you, I'm sorry yah!
Sekiranya ditakdirkan, kita akan berjumpa lagi! hee (:

Little Sister was so effing cute earlier in the afternoon. Kissed her all over! That explains why i fell off the bed due to her hard push today! baaaah~ She's just so cute, i can't resist! (:





My current Classmates! (((:
Always put a smile on my face. heee~
Heart them loads! =)







The ex-classmates!
i love them okay!!

I was in the library with the current classmates.
Suddenly i received a call from Elfyee.
Picked it up and I then......
.....jumped for joy!!
A surprise visit from them!
Never thought it'd happen!
Gosh!!!! Thanks, dearest!
((((((((((((:

After which, i instantly ran my way to them.
Yes, i speed my way through!
As though i was in the airport searching for that very prince charming of mine who is about to leave the country, after we had a big tiff with each other, ouhkay, so dramatic i know! But it was as though like that! Haha!

My heart really beat like no one's business and yes, i was excited in seeing them. The moment our eyes met, i straight away jumped euphorically and yelled out loud, didnt care at all about the surrounding. Truly i was touched by their sudden coming. Heeee~

Later on, we met Sebastian over at Macd. Chaotic moments i tell you!
Camwhored and yeah, we also took a video of us. Will publish it once i received it from that DARLING Sebastian! HAHAAHAHAH!
*inside joke* Hehs! =)

p/s: I miss my very 4e2007! That bunch of sweethearts!



&ouh, i miss you!

Labels: Time Checked: 1.34 AM