EYN AEYNN'S

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

I'm happy with my current job. The colleagues are really a great bunch of people. They are so nice that i feel as though i'm doing the house chores at home. Furthermore with the sight of the books, it seems like there is this kind of enthusiasm, urging me to reach the MLP two hours earlier everyday. Especially the books at the M level. The young adult's. Those english novels are downright awesome! =) You really should drop by there and flip at least a page. And i'm sure you definitely will get yourself engaged in them! (:

Anyway, on the 22nd December 2008, Monday, i was doing some shelf reading at the third level, under the art section when someone suddenly, out of no where, tapped me at the shoulder. Precisely, i was shocked. Initially, I thought i was nudged by a senior due to some mistakes i did at that point of time. However, at the same time, i was wondering what mistakes did i do since i'm very much sure i did no wrong. Yes, those random thinkings ran through my mind in a very split second. So fast that i feel like there was a sudden attack in my heart, haha.

I was not only shocked but was also enthralled the moment i turned my neck to my right that not even words could lay out from my mouth. It was like as if i was struck dumb with astonishment and surprise, serious. It was Elfyee. And the hilarious part was, while she was whining about something continously, i could only hear with my lips being sealed still. Haha! See, told you i was too shock to even say a word. You know what Elfyee, i was really touched by your arrival. The travel from Serangoon to Marine parade really proved the eagerness in you to meet me up. I feel like crying now. I'm sorry if i didnt show or express my appreciation on that day, but seriously deep down, i was really touched by it. Thanks alot dearest GF! (: Not only that, she even got herself lost while on the way to MPL, which required her to walk a distance despite she was fasting on that day. So you see, how sincere her heart is. Seriously, i feel like crying now! And yes, I'm on the brink of tears already!

At the same day, there was a plan between Tini and Me to walk around Parkway Parade right after my work. The moment the clocked showed 5, the three of us then assembled at the first level like how we used to back then in TP. Really, it was really a joyous day. Love it so much! (:

The next day, i called dee up right after i was done with my work. Good to hear that she's alright. Been aeons since we met. What's more having the three GFs, walking down the street together. I miss those time. Those days especially the secondary school moments. One day, the three of us surely have to meet up and start the the rock and roll party once again! Let's make some noise, babes! (:
p/s: On the 7th Jan, Monday, aku off. Lets have the threesome date! Picnic by the beach? hee!

Anyway, there is something that seems to bother me so much. Everytime when i'm alone, this thing will somehow strike my mind, leading me to think about it thoroughly. A day before, i went to the ICA building with SISkaseh to make her IC. It was around 8.15 in the morn. While we were walking towards the building, we saw this grandma, sitting on a wheelchair, with the sun shining above her. She was selling tissues. So the both of us walked towards her with the thinking of buying some tissues from her. To our great surprised, the tissues are sold at 5 for $1. How cheap can it be? I wonder the profit she'll get. Even if there is, it will be very little. What's more, having to wake up so early in the morn to start her day off with the sun shining so greatly above her head. And the worst thing was, there were hardly any people trying to help her out or give her any support. Not only that, they even strayed themselves away from getting near that grandma. And even if there were, they'll tend to ignore her presence and walk as if they're a big shot. Seriously, i feel so disgusted seeing those typical Singaporeans! But the thing that really bothers me so much is that i simply gave her a one dollar coin for that 5 tissues. I should have given her more instead! Damn! Well, gonna head down to the ICA building again on this 31st since Siskaseh forgot to bring her birth cert in our first coming. Gonna purchase the tissues again from the grandma. This time round, i'm going to give her more (: Perhaps, there is a reason to why the birth cert was left alone at home on that day.

p/s: Sometimes, i feel so helpless seeing the way things really are right now. Whenever i think about it, it seems that the responsibilty is on my shoulder. Somehow, it feels like there's something in me, telling that i have to think of the way out. Even though it wasnt mine actually. Still, i wanna take in charge of it. I wanna make things right! I wanna bring back the smiles. I wanna bring back the joy. And ceased the sorrows and hardships away! Well, its gonna be mine in years time. But the difference is, im starting it right now. I cant possibly wait till i find surety in my life. Thats gonna be too late. Well, basically, i have to begin everything from this very moment! I hope i wont be crying to sleep like how i used to currently. Yes, im stress! Ive full of things to think about! But i know, its a test for me. And i have to be strong! (: May the light eventually shines through, insyaallah.

Thanks Bf for being my faithful listening ear, i love you!

Ya Allah, pinjamkanlah aku kekuatan Maryam dan ketenangan Saidatina Khadijah yang telah mana engkau berikan kepada mereka pada suatu ketika dahulu.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Remember how i used to spend the unlimited hours in the library months ago? For the whole of that 10 months? haha That was for the preparation of the examination.
And now, Im back to where i was. haha Instead it's not about me finding books for any researchings or studying but is more to me doing shelf reading and arranging of books, LOL! haha Basically, im now a member of Marine Parade Library. However only as a part timer, with 4 hours of serving. Thus it means, i can be home by 6 everyday and do my own things at home. Either that, leisuring around with my companions, isnt that great? hehs (:

Yesterday marked the third day of work. Both BF and Rafi paid me a visit while i was on duty. Not only them, but both Cousin Izan and Sis Kaseh as well. How sweet of them! heee =)

After work, the parents brought us girls to dinner at Restaurant Kampung Chaichee Seafood. Sedaaaap! Just a few days ago, i went there with Cousin Izan's family. So that explains the KGs ive loaded in my body! hehs!

(woooo, im so happy cos bf said the shirt that i wore above looks big ON me... thus, it very well means, im getting ~~slimmer~~ thinner by the day) haha!

And today, both BF and Rafi surprised me again with their arrival.

Rafi:
Eh hilmi accident basikal head first skrg dalam ambulance he still unconsious. paramedic say 50-50 chance hidup.

(a message then sent to BF from me)
Ain:
Eh ain accident kat tangga jatuh tergolek. head jatuh first skrg dalam sick bay still unconsious. Mcm tengah nazak je.

LOL! freakingly LOL!

They then made fun of me because of that message. Haiyah! Well, to think of it again, mana boleh nazak when ure unconsious? Haha! ain.. ain.. apa nk jadi dengan kau? haha

p/s: Korang jgn main2 lagi ehh pasal ni semua! Satu kata tu satu doa taaau!!! hmph! gr! Buat suspense je tau, hish!

Anyway, Someone bought me something from Beijing. So sweet of him. And really, i immediately fell for it the moment i caught sight of it. Prettily gorgeous! (:

p/s: its a pure crystal btw. According to BF, it'll cost you $100 in singapore. I wannaa go beijingg!!! BF, bring me there. I wanna meet that VICIOUS beijing and slash her skins apart! And then i shall smuggle all the crystals across the Singapore Border!!! LOL! haha!

Thanks syg! (:

p/s: I miss my GFs <3

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

The story of ABANG SOMBONG and ADIK GILER (:

I've been watching the clock ticking by the minute since hours ago. So, that explains the mundane day I'm having today! Seriously, I'm excited for the arrival of Thursday. MRbf is so coming home! And i cant wait to see his jovial expression each time we meet. The heartbeats that are beating right now shall be the significant witness to how much i miss his presence by my side. Without him is like the song without the melody, so dull and mundane; the comparison to the notion I've been feeling for the past three days without his presence. I miss you.

Thus, i thought of posting something to stray my boredom away. So, today's post, it will be about someone. Someone whom i once looked up as an ABANG, a big brother. Well, before i started to rant further, a reminder that this post shall be a long long piece, so if you were to feel sleepy at this moment, i suggest you better go and take your very nap first, hee. Serious! (:

Well, about me and the Abang, we came to know each other in the year 2003 somewhere in the mid of July. At that point of time, i was still preparing myself for my Prelim exams. I was once a heavy chatter, especially in MSN world chatroom under ''Anak Melayu'' and Ria.com Unfortunately, those two rooms had already shut down since long time ago. So, while i was searching for a chat mate at 'Anak Melayu', i spotted a name called ''Mat Reality''. With the thinking that he might be my long lost chat friend, i straight away acknowledged him. However, my instincts turned out wrong. Well, since i was a person who didn't favour to reveal my identity, i used ''Amirah'' while chatting with him. Somehow, i found him rather an interesting person, so after much thinking, i finally decided to add him up in my OWN msn account. From there, he got to know who ''Amirah'' really was.

After a day of conversation, we totally lost contact after which. That was due to the attack on my PC from some vicious virus. It was approximately a month later before we were back in touch. However, it lasted for a week or so since he was already attached by then. And I on the other hand didnt want to cause any troubles between him and his girl. Furthermore, he seemed to prioritise his girl more than me. What was more, i wasnt really interested in him since i was still having a crush on H20, my primary school infatuation and MSN, my primary school senior. So in a way, i was mentally disturbed by the crushes i was having at that point of time. And that Abang was the only person i seeked help from. So that explains the reason i somehow got infatuated by him. Maybe by his kindness and his be-there attitude for me (: Remember i said he prioritised his GF more than me? And i on the other hand was trying to seek help from him? Haha, that was how the titled Abang sombong and Adik giler came about. He was too engrossed chatting with his GF that he tend to ignore me in MSN while i on the contrary was trying all means to attract his attention that i was seemed GILER to him, haha! Lol.

Somehow, soon after, unknowingly, the feelings for him started to bloom bit by bit. However, he was an attached person. What was more, he only regarded me as just a little sister. So not to cause any trouble, i set a boundary between me and the Abang. I kept a distance from him. It was a difficult decision though but i had no choice since i respected the relationship both him and his girl possesed. Silence then took its place.

Not long after, a conversation box popped up on the screen. My heart was thumping spastically the moment i noticed it was from him, the Abang. He told me how sad he was ever since he broke up with his girl. Seriously i was taken aback by the truth. I instantly felt sad and sorry for him. I then decided to be there as not only a sister, but also a friend to him. Concurrently, i thought i'd stand a chance but then later on, i was struck by another sudden blow of truth. I was not only hurt but felt offended in a way too. He didnt tell that he was actually in love when he was having some jovial chats via the MSN with me. i thought i was the only one who was there for him and to hear his feelings out. Unfortunately, i was wrong. There was another champion who seemed to successfully win his heart. Yah, i immediately felt intimidated and foolish at the same time. I never thought he would only regard me as just a sister all that time. After which, i made a vow not to jump into any conclusion foolishly. More hurting when he actually ignored me the moment his GF came online and would go offline when his GF went away. It was like there wasn't any room for us to communicate like how we used to before. Everything that happened seemed so fast. No more laughters, no more jokes, not even loyar buruks that we used to play with each other.

Well, somehow, soon after, the feelings for H20 came back. But deep down I knew it was just a puppy love, like how i had for the Abang. That was what i thought. It was some weeks later before both me and the Abang got back in contact. Well, at that point of time, the feelings for him had already depleted. To me, he was just an Abang. A feeling from a Little sister to a Big brother, nothing more, nothing less. Again, i was blown out from the water the moment he told me that his relationship with his girl was on the verge of going down the drain. Thus, he was seeking my help to fortify their ties. However, even after some tries of help i instilled, it was still to no avail. They then went separate ways. After which, everything went back to normal. However, the feelings for him was still stagnant, only siblings kind of feeling. Well maybe, i was avoiding myself from having a greater feeling for him as i didnt want to get involve in a more heart-wrenching situation.

Weirdly after that, he frequently questioned me about my crushes and if there were some random guys on my mind. The moment i was posed that type of questions, i immediately signed out from MSN. Well, i wasnt running away from his questions, but it was more to me running away from myself. I didnt want to admit the reality and would prefer to be in daze about those things. Soon after that, there werent any questions of those type from him again. Perhaps he had learnt my tactics. Either that, he had already given up in finding the answer to his curiosity. I seriously felt so much relieved after which. haha. Then one day, i felt so lost. I had been waiting for him to online for hours eversince morn. However there wasnt any trace of him at all. It went on for 3 days. He instantly became MIA. Seriously i felt really lost.

The forth day, still i was waiting impatiently. My mood was down and my mind was disturbed. I was really afraid that the ties would eventually be at the final stage even without saying goodbye. That was what worried me the most. Finally, his personal nick name popped up on the screen, signalling that he had came online. No words could describe how elated and excited i was at that point of time. I was even on the verge of shouting out loud to express the joy i was feeling. Fortunately i was still sane at mind. Else, i'd be the centre of attraction in my house. LOL!

He was actually having his NCC specialist course which took him for three days. No wonder he was away from MSN. After that day, the feelings for him seemed to blossom to a greater extend. Everyday, each time i came online, he'd be the first person on my mind. Unfortunately, it lasted for like a week or so before i came to know a guy name Rafiuddin via the Ria@com At the same time, i was confused of the feelings Abang had for me. At one point of time, i'd feel that he too had the same feelings for me. But at another point of time, it was another story. Thus, due to that confusion, my feelings strayed away to another. Rafiuddin was the first person i met personally with the companion of not only both my cousin and sister, but also Maziah and Hayati. While i was getting to know Rafiuddin, somehow, there was a pause between me and Abang. We no longer chat with each other even though we both were online. Even if there was a chat conference among me, abang and Zakiah, still we tend to be ignorant towards each other. We acted totally like strangers that one day we had a big great argument with each other over the MSN. We quarrelled so bad that even vulgarities came out. Yes, i was so pissed with him. And the strange thing was, the arguments were actually about nothing. There wasnt any head nor body. In a simplest term, there wasnt any story line leading to the argument. After around a week later, we did say hello to each other over the MSN, without both seeking for any forgiveness. Thus, no doubt, we weren't as closed as before.

That day, a day before Aidilfitri 2003, he asked for my number. I gave him without much hesitation. The first ever chat mate i gave my number after for so long i chatted via the net. The next day, to my surprised, i received a message from him. An Aidilfitri wish. Even though I knew that message was sent not to only me, still i was much elated to receive the message. Maybe, the reason was that the message was simply from him, the Abang. After days later, i felt the urged to send him an SMS. However, i've no plans to whats the intention of sending him one. I definitely will feel bad or better still, worthless if i were to just send a simple Hello to him. Well, that is so NOT me, even up till today! haha! After much much thinking, i finally came to a plan.

(Yea, i still remember that conversation vividly that it has never laid off from my mind even up till today!)

Adik Giler:

Abang, sorry for hari tu nya arguments. It was my fault.

Abang Sombong:

Its ok.

Adik Giler:

Abang tengah buat apa? Adik ganggu eh? Sorry.

Abang Sombong:

Tgh main game.

Adik Giler:

Okla, abang main game dulu. Nanti kita chat lagi.

Abang Sombong:

Ok.

Seeeeee, I seriously felt like strangling his bloody neck at that point of time! I was so furiously mad at him that i threw my handphone off my bed violently. Fortunately, my bed was full of cushions. Or else, i'd have to face the musics from both my parents, Phew! After which, i got to know that Zakiah was on the phone with him that night. So can you imagine how sank my heart was. Yes, in a simplest term, i was jealous! Seriously jealous! So i thought of calling him ALSO! Yes, i did. But it was merely a 5 min talk. Even that, it was something regarding asking a question. YAH, I KNOW THAT WAS SO LAME. i can just sms or ask him over the msn. BUT I CHOSE TO CALL. so it simply means that i WANNA TALK TO HIM, TRUE?! but he just put down the phone the moment i said, ''ohh okay, thanks''. HAIYAH! Seriously, made my blood go upstairs noe! hahaahha!

After the incident, i came to a thinking that maybe all that while, i was just clapping with one hand. Then suddenly, i received a message from HIM. Abang messaged me, haha! Since i'm someone who's full of both physically and emotionally expression, i straight away jumped for joy the moment i received his message. So imagine how happy i was at that point of time. An indescribable feeling! In that SMS-conversation, he was asking me if there was someone in my mind. So i replied him this.... ''Afadikfik sufukafa afabangfang''. LOL! But then, wasnt he cruel, asking me to tell out my feelings. As a guy, he should be the one confessing it to me FIRST. True? Basket noe! Then the next night, he called me up. On the 26th December 2003, he posed me a question. A question that left me stunned for awhile. ''Adik, boleh abang jadi kekasih hati adik?'' It was around 7 plus to 8. After Maghrib (: I then agreed after a long silence of thinking. He he he!!

We then met up for the VERY FIRST TIME the next day, on the 27th December 2003. At level 4 Tampines Mall, just outside Golden Village. Also, that was the first time we saw each other's face. Hehs! (: So in another words, we became together without knowing how each other looks like, LOL!

AND THE MOST EMBARRASED PAST WAS.... i met him with a very strange attire. So my first date was me, wearing ala-fishing hat, FREAKING tight shirt and a BELL-BOTTOM jeans. together with a HIGH-HEEL! *gulps*

And imagine me wearing that with my 63kg and 160cm! LOL!

p/s: I WAS TRYING TO IMITATE MYSELF WHEN I WAS IN P6. WITH TIGHT SHIRT, AND THAT ALA-FISHING HAT annnnnnnd MOST OF ALL, PUTTING CLOTHES AND TEDDY BEARS INSIDE THE SHIRT. but still, i dont seem to exactly look HOW I USED TO WHEN I WAS IN P6. SO, imagine that size with double of its width, that was me in 2003 (:

p/s: BF, seeeeee this is the result for misssssing u so much! Please come back sooon! i neeeeed you!! (: There are loads of thing i waaaaana share with you! So please hurrrrrry and shooo that VICIOUS beijing away!!

i hope you like this entry the most <3

aku bersyukur punya abang juga kekasih sepertimu (:

Monday, December 15, 2008

Yesterday was supposed to be my last day of work. However, i was still sick. Really sick that i had to see the doc again. So i called the Katong Isetan to inform them that i couldnt attend the last day. But the calls were to no avail. All i could do was to leave the message to the operator. Today then i received a miss call from them. So i called the operator, asking her to direct me to Ladies handbag. Called for Kak Maznah. Seriously, i thought she'd bellow her tops at me, since i heard that she's some kind of a meanie, hee. However naaah, she sounds nice. Actually, shes way very nice to me despite rumours keep saying how bad she is. Seriously, i prefer her than anyone else. Very nice supervisor (: Even when i went to sound out my resignation two day before, i thought of running away from her. But shes the one who was there with me, going through all troubles changing my offs and all. Nope, i never see her nag at me before even though she was infamous for that, haha
Man, somehow, i regret saying goodbye. But then again, i have to.

It just breaks my heart seeing Grandad all alone at home with everyone's out to work, either that, having fun outside. So i guess, its best for me to stay home and supervise him even though he's still strong enough to supervise himself. Also, Siskaseh will be having her major examination in a year time. So, i decided to be there spending the whole of my time guiding her way through the tests. Hopefully she'll ace it all (: About the pay, i wont make a fuss out of it. 11 days of work will be used as my Registration fee for class 3! Yay! haha A month and 12 days more to go! woohoo! =) And oh, speaking of which, i SERIOUSLY cant wait for the 15th January, haha (: We'll see how everything goes. A clench of goals and aims (:

p/s: darn, im missing my Ladies Handbags/Ladies Shoes Crews!

Sunday, December 14, 2008

It has been two days since BF left me for Beijing.
Without him by myside is like the beach without the sea.
Seriously, im missing him to the very bits of pieces.
If only i have the chance, i definitely will thoroughly assail that Beijing in both physically and emotionally.
After which, i shall save my beloved BF from the violence of that vicious Beijing!
Yea! World war gonna start between Ain and Beijing! Absolutely, the Hero shall be the upmost winner.
I shall then take that Beijing away to the sky just like how Ultraman always do to his defeated rival! he he he!

SISkaseh:
Abang Hilmi happy-happy dengan Beijing dia, akak kat sini macam paham la!

BASKETBALL sungguh adik aku yang satu ni! hish! haha

Have my heart and eyes on the only you, you and you (:
The ultimate one! =)

FOUR DAYS MORE TO HIS COMEBACK!
EXCITED TO THE MAX! (:

P/S: FULL MOON this time round dosen't have any effect on me. Cos you're the only full moon to my heart. Without you, not even the FULL MOON can full my heart content, come back soon dear love!

Di mana jua kita berjalan,
di situ lah dugaan kian saling mendatang.
biarpun siang, mahupun malam,
tidak mungkin ia dapat dihalang.

bagaikan bulan dan bintang,
selalu bersama, walau jauh jaraknya.
namun, diterangi oleh cahaya yang sama.
umpama ketawa bersama, menangis bersama.
tampak sungguh mesra, walau jauh jaraknya.

Namun,
hari demi hari,
setiap saat berlalu pergi,
ikatan kian terputus jua.
bulan menghilangkan diri, entah ke mana.
bintang menyepikan diri, tidak kembali.
langit hitam kebiruan tanpa cahaya.
seolah-olah menangis menyaksikan haluan mereka.
ibarat seperti layang-layang terputus talinya.
Lantas, selamat tinggal menjadi penamatnya.
Buat selama-lamanya.

Namun, bukankah itu namanya kehidupan? Kehidupan bagi manusia seperti kita? Di satu saat, kehidupan bagaikan di atas kayangan, penuh dengan cahaya kegembiraan. Namun di saat yang lain pula, hidup akan tiba-tiba terjunam ke bawah, hilang segala kenikmataan yang pernah dikecapi pada suatu ketika dahulu. Lantas, air mata menjadi saksi semua duka cita yang kian melanda. Sekali lagi, bukankah itu namanya kehidupan? Kehidupan bagi manusia seperti kita? (:

Namun begitu, di dalam setiap lara dan natijah itu, ada tersembunyi suatu kenikmatan di dalamnya. Hanya bergantung kepada keyakinan dan semangat seseorang itu mengharunginya.

p/s: i wish you both the best in everything you do. Especially you, lil sister. I know you're strong enough to go through all this. I've been in your position once. I failed to overcome those hurdles. And it actually led me to failure. I dont wish you to follow my steps. Cos ure stronger than me, in both mentally and physically. i believe in you. I very well do (:
Takecare, sayang (:

And sayang, rmbr when i used to break down due to relationship problems, you were there, attending to all my needs. You were the one, shedding my tears, telling me to be strong. You were the one, tapping me to sleep with your arms holding me tightly close to you. Your motivations and encouragements really moved me that i found comfort and ease in you. You're the pillar of my strength, my motivator and my true friend. My very role model despite how young you are. Like i always conclude, your thingkings are actually way mature than me. So please, let go and let god guide you. You very well know how much we all love you, don't you? (: Months more to your major exam, worry not, i'll be there for you! Always! (:

And to you guys who have a strong dislike towards my little sister, let me remind you something, you can go on hating her, hate her all you wish. BUT one thing for sure, the thinking of bringing her down will definitely BE TO NO AVAIL! because, I, being her ELDER sister will make sure she'll be just ALL RIGHT in whatever situation she's in. And if you have some unsettled probs with her, why dont spur your guts and confront me instead? I've NO problems attending to MORONS like you guys for the sake of my lil sister. COS one thing im sure is you guys need some MOTIVATIONAL TALKS from me for having the jealousy towards kaseh, whom i'm supposed is popular and well-known to most teenagers throughout singapore! (:

Yes, shes NOT only my little sister, shes my life and my everything. THE MUSIC OF MY HEART! so, if you're dealing with her, IT VERY WELL MEANS YOU'RE DEALING WITH ME TOO! So, i hope this EASY-READ piece of note can EASILY get into your empty EASY head. I've been keeping quiet for a long time and i no longer can hold on to the shits you guys keep hurling on her! SO, get this clear!

Friday, December 12, 2008

I heard that there'll be a change to the age requirements for taking up CLASS 3 from 18 to 21 years old at the start of next year. Seriously, i instantly sank into a depression the moment i heard that. SO.. right after my beauty sleep this morn, at 10am on the dot, i straight away searched the Ubi CDC number and gave them a call immediately. After for more than 15 min, i finally got through the line. The moment while i was waiting for her reply, YEA, FOR THAT ONLY FEW SECONDS, my heart has already beat a trillion time. Seriously, it seemed like as if terror was gripping my whole being, LOL! yet i was excited at the same time though, haha!

Operator:
*Some thing like Ubi comfortcentre like that, cant really remember LOL!*
Ain:
Hello, Can i check with you what's the age requirements for taking up class 3?
Operator:
For that, it'll be 18 and above ma'am.
Ain:
I heard that there'll be a change to 21 at the start of next year? so i guess its a false alarm, ya?
Operator:
Erm, not at the moment, ma'am

WOOOHOOOOOOOO (:
No words can tell how happy i am right now, SMILES! (:

Get to go!
Isetan's killing my freedom each and every single day!
Worry not, its now left with ONLY 19 days before i get hold of my freedom once again, YAY!

p/s: The vicious flu is slowly recovering, woohoo! (:

Takecare!

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Cashiering duty today was manageable. Seriously, i thought it was such a nightmare initially. Fortunately, it turned out better than what i expected, haha (=
However, on a sad note, i DIDN'T manage to BALANCE the account, haha. I was terrifying worried at the beginning, thinking that there will be a shortage but instead, it turned out having an EXCESS of TWO DOLLARS! hahahaha! cute eh? haha LOL!

Overall, I've finally got the hang of it. It wasn't that difficult though. All it requires are just practices. Like a saying goes, practice makes perfect! (: Special thanks to Zenny, Joanne and Hui Mei. Not forgetting both Kak Maznah and Kenny for guiding me throughout my INITIAL cashiering duty, hehs! (:
Andand, for tolerating with my nonsense, heh heh!

However, Hui Mei has already resigned. It was her last day today. All the best in your future endevours okay! Also, best wishes for your results. Remember to work extra hard the moment school reopens! Seriously I've all faiths in you! (:

And oh ya, I was greatly astonished the moment i received a message from MRlove. Hee, i instantly beamed with smiles, saturated with happiness and amazement. Seriously, he's such a sweet love! hee (:

MRbf:
Syg! Mwarks! My kiss of cnfidence to u. I noe u cn do it. I noe u wil nt gif up. Nk tau y, coz u ar my kitty and u haf my courage. If i cn learn new tings, so cn u. even how hard the new things are. Mwarks! My kiss of patience to u. In every difficulties, there is relief. Mwarks! My kiss to my syg who is strong. hehe.

I love him so much! Sadly, hes going away for a holiday to Beijing this coming Saturday. Worst, for five consecutive days. Gonna miss him real bad! Do take very good care of yourself yeah hun! (:

I have a lot to say actually. Had planned them all in the bus while on the way home. However, due to time, i don't think it'll be enough for today. What's more, my bods are now pitiably aching. I guess, i better take my rest before i fall into a more terrible flu. Yea, I'm down with a flu. My throat's deadly hurting. Seriously i need both the Antiseptic lozenges and Cough expectorants for my sore throat and cough with phlegm. But those are no where to be found in any parts of my house. haiya! (Wonder how i actually knew all those? I was once a red cross in my Pri sch! so those were like the common items for Home First Aid Kit! haha. Speaking of which, i miss fitting the Uniform onto me, haha)

Get to go! Afternoon shift again tmr!
Take care! (:

P/s: Dengan sedikit keberanian, takut akan tunduk sebagai pengecut.

Monday, December 8, 2008

I wasn't in the right mind for the past few days.
I failed to discipline myself. I failed to overcome the feelings.
I failed to push it aside. Maybe, it's just a temporary thing in life.
Very soon, it will fade away. Absolutely, I'm sure of that.
The love is now down with some sicknesses. I wish i could be the one nursing him.
I wish i could be the one feeding and supervising his condition. I wish everything of those wishes will come true one day, definitely when the both of us are truly ready.

No point vowing about making out both the B and D from the MSN.
Because i believe those promises will never be carried out.
Even if i were successfully do it, it will still be back to square 1.
From now onwards, all i have to do is to close one eye and snub everything that ive acknowledged deep down in my heart. Sometimes, truth hurts and may bite you viciously.

Something reminds me of Something.
Watched MRcinderella in youtube. Somehow, i was reminded about Tarzan. That was when i wonder why isn't there such a thing called MRtarzan. Minutes later, i was awaken by reality to an appalling extend. It seemed to bang me real hard. I then realized i just did a foolish thing. How could i? Someone should be greatly disappointed with my act if he knows about this. To you, i apologies.

Time flies really fast. 5 days more to the 13th. I will then be left behind, waiting patiently for the arrival of 18th. I pray may everything go on smoothly. Second entry for the day. The evidence on how fast time flies. The first entry was ranted somewhere in the early noon while now, its nearing to dusk. Time flies really fast.

The words from MRcinderella really caught my attention. I fell greatly in love with those phrases.

(While they were busy typing down their feelings using their PC)

Puteri Megawati:
Suara di jiwa teronta-ronta
Mata yg melihat, hati yg memandang
Menjerit, Meraung, Meratap seribu bahasa
Namun, jendela bibir tertutup rata
Kelu di lidah tidak mampu berkata

Hakimi(MRcinderella):
Puteri di mata, puteri di jiwa
Maaf dipinta, terkasar bahasa
Terhenti nafas, masih bernyawa
Umpama kunci trsalah pintunya
Terjumpa pintu hilang kuncinya
Ibarat ada dalam tiada
Namun engkau di sini, aku disana.

Puteri Megawati:
Terhutang budi Tergadai hati
Menyusun langkah tersisir ke belakang
Terus berundur melangkah ke depan
Di sini tidak, di sana pun tidak.

(The letter that was given to Hakimi from Puteri Megawati)

Jantung berdegup penuh bicara, hati berkata sesepi bahasa.
Wujudnya ia tanpa suara, hilangnya ia meninggalkan luka.
Ibarat gula tiada manisnya, ibarat daun tiada hijiaunya.
Hendak menangis tiada arahnya, hendak merusuh tiada tempatnya.
Semakin dekat bertakhta di jiwa, hendak dicapai terasa jauhnya.
Darah yg mengalir masih terasa, namun MRcinderella hatiku membisu jua.

Those sweet words really enchant me. Just like honey, those words are simply sweet.
Fortunately, there is such thing called Youtube. Or else, i wont get the chance to watch the movie once again. To replace the lost CD requires a lot of time and efforts and i don't think i have those in my grips. Thanks to my busy working shift schedule, hoho. Luckily im just a temporary full time. haha =)

Get to go, just received a msg from MRbf, woohoo.
Till we meet again! (:

Two parts in MRcinderella movie that im seriously in love with. View it if you have the time =)

Part 9:

Part 10:

Tag replies:

to Wan:
either to start all over again from square one or to just brush it off, haha
For no help will be given to you, hehs! (:
to Passerby:
Well, i wasn't a thinking person initially. I used emotions more than mind. Its the experiences that have actually opened up my eyes =)
to Eeqah:
thanks darling! haha.. 1991 babes like us rawks to the core right? ;)
to Ezzan:
Ain misses izan jugaaak! bila nk drop by kerja ain? haha
to Tini Wong:
haha cepatnya! Good for you! all the best with the new one aight! Much misses! hee =D
to Raff:
Yup2.. my com is currently infected by Virus. Sobs! Gonna do something with it real soon. hee, thanks for the remindings! hee =))
to Wats:
Macam Fishball kau ckp? hahaha.. kau pon satu la haha okok.. nnti kita kluar ok! andand bila kau nk lawat mak dee, bilang aku taau! rindu korang! hee
to Jiwangster:
hahaha.. Sec 2 lar! haha.. apa je sec 3. haha.. sec 2 kan my fringe mcm dog bite.. hehe..
anw.. love u too.. hehe =DD

I'm back once again, yay! (:
First and foremost, i shall wish all Muslims a Happy Aidil Adha. May happiness be with all of you yea (:

Today's the other break for me. After today, its gonna be my long long hectic days with Isetan crews, hoho. Guess what, i just knew that my OFFICIAL off day is on EVERY monday. Thus, i will still be given a saturday off since today's holiday isnt used as the public holiday for me. Instead as my off day. haha Gonna meet Sharon the HR manager tomorrow. Sadly, i lost my locker key. Darn! Hopefully, its not gonna be big for the replacement. Small money please! =D I'm running out of money! SERIOUSLY. haha =D

However on a brighter happier note, Jenny the Hilly bag's promoter will be ordering my Hilly leather bag this coming Tuesday. So it means ill be getting it around nex week, Yay! Im just too excited for it. Like seriously! You know, that hilly bag is my ONLY eye-candy there. Yes, that Hilly bag and NOT guys! =))

Unfortunately, i was instructed by the supervisor to do the cashiering duty this coming Wednesday, GOSH! Me, being the cashier? That is so not me! haha. But seriously, im scared! Even if i were to hear the word 'Cashier' itself, my facial muscles will tend to twitch nervously. So tell me, how on earth am i gonna do it good? ishk! So i sounded out my fears to the Aunty Promoters and even the Supervisor herself. I told them how scared i was and what if there were a shortage after the balancing and all, LOL!

The supervisor then laughed at me. She even said that i was funny! Siow! She then spurred my confidence by telling me that both she and the other supervisor have faith in me. pandai je kalau nk amik hati org tau! lol! Haiya! I thought stationing in ladies handbags can twart me away from cashiering duty. Sadly, i was wrong. Seriously wrong! Gladly, even the aunty promoters helped to boost my confidence level. Especially Aunty Angela. Her words are seriously soothing and comforting. I hope i'll do it with full force and heedful this coming Wed, Insyaallah. Seriously, i need to do my homework before the day arrive. Maybe by using a dummy machine, haha! Shall jot down both the initial and the eventual procedure for it. But still, im scared! Oh well, since that's gonna be my first time, i shall not mind the scoldings that im sure ill definitely get. Cos without those scoldings, i will never even to near perfect. All the best to me, hehs!

Anyway, Boyfriend is flying off to Beijing this coming Saturday. Worst, my off day has already been changed. Thought of meeting him the day before he leave. But sadly, i cant. Hais. And more worst, im on late shift this week. So tell me, how on earth can we meet before we temporary go seperate ways, hais! Well, thats life, isnt it? Every single thing in Everything, has to be sacrificed for our own good. No wonder there is a saying says, Love is to Sacrifice.

Thought of visiting Dee's mum on the 15th. Hopefully, everything will go on smoothly. This is the reason why i detest working under people. You'll seem to have no life and no freedom! Its like everything is already fixed for you. Fixed by other people. By your superior. Especially when having to work on shift. Oh well, again, that is life. In order to survive, we have to overcome those willingly no matter how unpleasant it can be. All i can do now is to take this as an experience for future. Who knows this can actually benefits me later on.. in 5 to 10 years down the road, in the near future (:

A clench of goals and aims.

I think i rambled too much today, hehs!
Till we meet again.
=))

p/s: it seems that my tries are to no avail. Somehow, it seems hard to let go than hold on. Please play your part and help me out. I no longer can uphold the game. Its time for me to retire and breathe the breeze once again.. like how i used to 4 years ago. Dear Allah, please cleanse my heart and let me lead a peaceful life. In which, also for the sake of their and evryone's happiness, Amen (:

B & D. maybe?
Away from any C.
Goodbye MSN! (:
Takecare, hee

DEAR dec 13, i plead you not to take my love away. For his departure is my departure, (:
don think bukan2... when bf is away, means i will be away also laa..
while hes busy with his holiday, i shall make myself busy with my work too.. haha..
LOL! (:

p/s: Pejamkan matamu, aku tetap di sisi.

Friday, December 5, 2008

What if you were to have a very good friend, a friend who is always there whenever you're in need, a friend who always put a smile on your troubled face, basically a friend whom you adore so much as just a friend, you then have to let him/her go at the very next minute. In which it was for the sake of your Love one.

I then asked a friend if he/she were to be in the position, what will be his/her next steps. He/she then replied that kinda thing shouldn't be happening in the first place. And the Love one has no right to do such a thing. After which, he/she summed up, he himself/she herself has no idea what to do.

Well, after much thinking, i shall make a point to just stop everything here. Since i've successfully been silence for the past 2 weeks, that very well means, it can be prolonged till forever, till the end of time. In addition, its not only for the sake of the Love one's happiness, also for everyone. For the friend and the one around him/her. Well, thats the least i could do for his/her friend, for my own gender.

All im hoping now is to be strong enough to let go of everything without looking back once again. Even if SMSes of helps were to be received, i still have to be firmed and pushed it aside. Even if it slams me real hard. I'm sorry.

I believe in karma. What goes around comes around. And what goes up must come down. I don want us to suffer in our future due to our present mistakes. Takecare. When i say takecare, i very well mean it.

Take care (dictionary) : Be careful, prudent, or watchful
Takecare (MYtionary) : Care for yourself like how you care for your love ones Cos i care for you and want you to take good care of yourself.. ~~for me~~.. for everyone around you. especially your Love one. Bcos in order to take care of them, you have to take good care of yourself first.

Anyway on a brighter note, working for the past 4 days was alright. Im getting use to it by the day. Even though it was kind of tiring, having to stand for 8 hours everyday, still it was fun. Yea, all thanks to the Aunty pomoters. And not forgetting the supervisors. Their warm personality really put me in a comfortable state. Seriously, i feel at ease while doing my work. Maybe thats the reason why i tend to enjoy it by the min. Those customers whom ive dealt with for the past 4 days were really hillarious. Yea, we talked and joked around. Basically im happy with my job. But somehow, i thought of working only for this month since ive many other chores to do at home. What's more before the holiday, i'm really hopping to drop by the library everyday to do some readings. However, the aunty promoters persuaded me to carry on not only till the end of Feb but even after ive started schooling, as a part-timer there. piang ahh! haha Well yea, im close to them. While waiting for the customers and all, ill talk to them and we'll joke around throughout the waitings. Thats the reason why i find it enjoyable doing my job, haha! Seriously without those aunties, life in the Isetan will definitely be dull and mundane, thanks aunties! haha (:

Im attracted to this Hilly bag. Yes, i prefer leather bags to fashionable bags. That explains why i dont prefer Guess bag that much. Yes, i prefer Bonia and Gucci the best! Serious! (:
And the best thing is, the hilly promoter is helping me out by giving me her 50% off for that hilly bag! Yay! So all i have to pay is just $60 for that $120 bag, woohoo!! (:

Im so gonna get it man! I have to! haha.. cos i seriously in love with it! My ONLY eye-candy! haha.. That hilly bag! Yay (:

Anyway, im sure most of you wanna see my BANGS right? Especially my GFs. Elfyee has been telling me how much she wanted to look at it. Cousin said i looked good in it LIKE FISHBALL! ishk! So contradicting. Good like Fishball. hahaahahahha! Cute eh she? haha (: Shall post it up now. Wait, promise me NOT TO LAUGH UPON VIEWING IT! hahahaha lols!

Thats the first day of work with dear Tini. Sadly, she has now resigned! all the best to you darling!
Meet up soon okay! (: Gonna miss you much lar! Burung time bila? hee

Darling BF picked me up from my first day of work (:
Heading to City plaza for Mummy's belated birthday celebration.
Thanks Mummy for the food (:

On the way to the carpark. And oh yah, i was without any cosmetics at that point of time. haha (:

Seriously, i find make ups a CHORE! And dont ever talk to me about make ups. Cos i vowed not to wear it any more! (:

Ain:
You.. i tknk pakai make up lagi tau.. natural lagi better.
BF:
Thats my girl.

LOL! hahahaha (:

I need a rest today. Seriously in need of it. The next off day will be this coming Monday. Luckily my supervisors are malay. Or else, i'd not get any off day on Aidiladha, phew! (: Thanks to both Kak Maznah and Kak Hasani, hee (:

Anyway, Bf is coming later, woohoo. I better get going and get ready with my cookings, haha. Takecare! (:
Oh wait, i havent get my shower yet, LOL!

Till we meet again! TakeCare! (:

Monday, December 1, 2008

Seriously, i am now quivering all over with excitement. Tomorrow's gonna be the first day of work, woohoo!
Okay, i know its abit weird to believe but u just have to believe it, LOL! haha!

So anyway, i did something to my hair again. This time round, its an irreversible change. (speaking of which, it really reminds me of primary school's science syllabus, LOL!) okay, back to where i was, i did a bang on my fringe. GOSH! It looks strikingly odd, seriously. But then again, i love it. Bcos the outcome simply put me in NO MORE disturbs. haha.

Heading Marine Parade at 930am with dear tini tomorrow. Did i say im excited? Okay, seriously im excited despite this ISN'T the first time ill be out for work. LOL! But then again, talking bout jobs, i miss those Bugis Action City and Tengah Engineering's colleagues. Especially the latter one, where gossips and laughters will fill the air whenever we're doing our calculations. Hoho.

Get to go now, cant wait for tomorrow, not only due to the initial day, but also gonna meet FAZEREYN up after work. Gonna proceed down to City plaza for Mummy's belated birthday celebration, hehs! (: Seriously, i miss both mummy and hilda so much! (:

p/s: yeah, i cant wait to meet that darling fazereyn up. and OH, simply NOT the RIDER! hahaha oops, kidding la! I miss him more than ever! The night before.. wait! it was in the wee hours actually, somewhere around 3am. Messaged that baby boy, telling him how much i miss him. See, i miss you right hun? You should be touched, okay, LOL! but whatever it is, FAZEREYN is still my very SAYANG! (: hehs! (:

And not forgetting, yesterday, i was really saturated with happiness. Smiles immediately glittered on my face the moment i received the call from Elfyee. I miss her terribly! Been awhile since we had that cute little arguments on the phone. haha. The conversation then chirked up when dee joined in. Oh man, i seriously miss them so much! So much that not even words can describe. The beaming smiles on my face shall be the only witness to it. Seriously, i'm so happy right now! And fathin, aku seriously rindu kau jugak! Lets go out together-gother ok nanti! (:

Girls outing coming up soon! Karaoke session ehh wats? Seoul Garden eh Dee? 2 in 1 lah eh gitu! haha (: