And now, why on earth am i crying a river?

[P. Diddy - talking]
Hold up, let me answer my phone
Some bitch callin me about some bullshit probably
I'ma call you right back
I'm doin this mixtape right here
Now back to what I was sayin

[Verse 1 - Mario Winans]
Somebody said they saw you
The person you were kissing wasn't me
And I would never ask you
I just kept it to myself

[Chorus - Mario Winans]
I don't wanna know
If your playin me, keep it on the low
Cause my heart can't take it anymore
And if your creepin, please don't let it show
Oh baby, I don't wanna know

[Verse 2 - Mario Winans]
Oh baby
I think about it when I hold you
When lookin in your eyes, I can't believe
I don't need to know the truth
Baby keep it to yourself

[Chorus - Mario Winans]
I don't wanna know
If your playin me, keep it on the low
Cause my heart can't take it anymore
And if your creepin, please don't let it show
Oh baby, I don't wanna know

[Break - Mario Winans]
Did he touch you better then me (touch you better then me)
Did he watch you fall asleep (watch you fall asleep)
Did you show him all those things that you used to do to me (do to me baby)
If your better off that way (better off that way)
Baby what I like to say (all that I can say)
Go on and do your thing and don't come back to me
(Stay away from me baby)

[Verse 3 - P. Diddy]
I don't wanna know where your whereabouts or how you movin
I know when you in the house or when you cruisin
It's been proven, my love you abusin
I can't understand, how a man got you choosin (yeah)
Undecided, I came and provided ma
My undivided, you came and denied it (why?)
Don't even try it, I know when you lyin (I know when you lyin)
Don't even do that, I know why you cryin (stop cryin)
I'm not applyin no pressure, just wanna let you know
That I don't wanna let you go (I don't wanna let you go)
And I don't wanna let you leave
Can't say I didn't let you breathe
Gave you extra cheese (c'mon), put you in the SUV
You wanted ice so I made you freeze
Made you hot like the West Indies (that's right)
Now it's time you invest in me
Cause if not then it's best you leave
Holla, yeah

[Chorus - Mario Winans]
I don't wanna know
If your playin me, keep it on the low
Cause my heart can't take it anymore
And if your creepin, please don't let it show
Oh baby, I don't wanna know

If your playin me, keep it on the low
Cause my heart can't take it anymore
And if your creepin, please don't let it show
Oh baby, I don't wanna know

If your playin me, keep it on the low
Cause my heart can't take it anymore
And if your creepin, please don't let it show
Oh baby, I don't wanna know

Labels: Time Check: 11:26 PM

I miss the old me.
In need of getting back on track during the holidays.
Many things are awaiting.

Labels: Time Check: 11:32 PM

Beneath those disappointments, it actually potrays your concern for me. In which that really touches my heart deep down.

I was late for exam. Thus, upon reaching the hall, i hurriedly placed my bag at any random shelf that caught my eyes, sharing it with a stranger. After the paper has ended, i took my handphone out before I saw the screen stated, "insert sim card". Initially i thought, perhaps something was wrong with the position of the card. While i was walking out of the hall, to my dismay, the card wasnt there. It went missing. Told the classmates around me about the incident. Tried searching again for the card, which prolly had slipped off from the phone, but sadly, it was to no avail. Not to mention about the security guard who apparently dosent seem to understand. He was shooing us away, even at the staircase itself which was quite a distance from the exam hall. Annoying much that was, but then again, couldnt really mock him; a duty is one's responsibility.

Despite the scoldings i got from ♥♥, at heart, i know, he actually care for me. For my well being especially. Whatever he said and all of his advices, really remind me of Ayah. I didnt really take Ayah's words into consideration despite the umpteen times of getting scolded. Instead i chucked them all aside due to the harsh content. Now, this is the mishap i have to overcome. A learning point of never to act obstinately, which leads to carelessness. At a whole, i really have to change my negligence attitude. And be more sensitive towards the surrouding.

♥♥, thanks for being there by my side. The expression on your face and the great efforts you put in, in helping me out really says alot about you, regarding your sincerity in being with me.

On the disappointing note, our regular morning, afternoon & night calls will be temporary inactivity. Sobs. Gonna miss him real bad. I supposed he's feeling the same way too :)

However, after much discussing over at school, we're gonna go back to our olden days. Those days where everything was suppressed, trying to act cool about the feelings for each other. Teehee. Webcammy! ((:

Excited. I can't wait. Anticipating tonight, definitely! (:

Anyhow, both Maths and Digital electronics were manageable than i thought they would be. Thanks to those who sincerely gave their helping hands to assist me with the modules. I really owe you people one! (: Electric Circuit next before the start of the holiday (:

1046, i hope to atleast pass it. Wasnt really prepared for it. Gosh.

Saturday with LiveAudios peeps over at Marina i assumed? And Sunday with the O-Eng peeps hitting the books at Tea dot, Tamp 1. Woohoo! (:

Labels: Time Check: 08:56 PM

True enough, a connection between two during the early stage can be very complicated. Thus, in order to maintain a strong and successful one, both partners must accept the things that they need to work at. Simply put, both must realise that in any form of connection/relationship, there is NO such thing as perfection. For there is always the possibility of problems that might occur, in which both parties need to understand with full hindsight. By taking consistent effort to ensure that the connection states between duo survives, that is!

Lack of communication is the biggest cause to a failed connection ties. With it, one person could not understand the other's perspective. Thus, no doubt, communication is the key in every form of relationship/connection. It's clear; the more you communicate your thoughts and feelings to one another, the more understanding you will have.

You skipped your class for me, to let me feel your presence, to ease my insecurities, to wind down my vulnerability.

You hugged me tight, to let me feel your limitless love, to let me shun all negativities away, to let me breathe a new set of confidence in this genuine thing between us. Though me, with my facade, trying my very best to be all strong.

You contacted my mum to cool me down, trying all sorts of way to subside all those irritable emotions in me. You ran after the lorry i was in, to have your sight on me. You travelled to my granny's place, to be near me.

You made a journey to my block despite the night and the sore leg you suffered in. You kept me company through the wee, to ensure my well being, notwithstanding the weariness you felt after a long hard day on me.

A day may have a few hours. A day may easily be forgotten. A day may seem just a day to oneself. But that day, on the twenty-first of february, you really made my day. A day where your love really truly engulfs inside of me. I love you.

I never made a wrong move when i chose you. I never regretted having you as my one and only. A man may have different flowers BUT he has ONLY one rose. I believe in that. And i believe in your love♥♥

p/s: Marine Parade Library with the darling classmate afterwards :)

Labels: Time Check: 01:00 PM

Tons of thing were bombarding my head in the previous entry. Friday. I was faithfully waiting for your call, thinking about you all day long. During the wee, finally at 1.30am, i could finally hear your voice. Imagine how elated i was when i picked it up. A call that ive been waiting for hours, trying hard not to fall asleep. Sadly, it was just for mere minutes before you bid me goodbye. I was sad. Perhaps you were too tired and i let you to have your sleep. Little did i know that you were with someone else hours before. More disappointing when i knew nuts about it. Prolly you fear that i would think all negatives. Gosh, if you were to think that way, it just means that you've yet to know the real me. Worst, when i got to know that apparently the fault is on me, stating that i'm being ignorant of the efforts you put in this special thing between us. Imagine how sank my heart was the moment i stumbled into it. My apologies for everything.

Labels: Time Check: 11:00AM

Each time when i'm out with someone. Especially with the other gender, i'd never keep that a secret. I'd say it out, to avoid all conflicts, to avoid any misunderstandings. We've talked through this a million time. Yet, apparently you dosent seem to care. Ive tried my best to make this special thing between us work. Somehow, i sensed that you're saying things about me behind. What wrong have i done? You're the reason why i always think foolishly. Why must there be secrets between us when YOU, YOURSELF denoted that there shouldnt be any. I'm not having grudges on anyone. Only this is what i feel. I doubt its gonna be easy the next time round. I need time alone!

NO POOL TODAY. i backed out. Sorry people!


ive lost my trust in you.

Labels: Time Check: 10:023 PM

I couldnt be more thankful for having such a wonderful little sister who would stay by me through rain or shine. The one who would never fail to illuminate me with her joyous light (: I love you, sayang (:

She was in my arms, when a sudden question abruptly crossed her mind. It did make me ponder a little, hehs.

Question:
What will happen if i were to have a partner who has an extreme tight and busy schedule. More or less the question was.

That question dosen't really seem just an ordinary to me. It holds a heavier message inside; A clash between Reality and Irreality. Girls and boys may have a mindset that relationships are meant to soak them up with happiness. Thus, to them, a smooth sailing one with every now and then meet ups are appropriate. Hmms.

Well, true, at times, you need to rely on someone. But bear this in mind, NOT all the time. Back to little sister's question. Upon hearing it, i instantly put myself into the character's shoe. Extreme tight and busy schedule, which means at times, his chore could be more significant. In another words, to be a good partner, i truly need to be understanding here. Without it, everything will definitely go haywire, which many lacks in, be it in both parties. Like i said, most have the mindset that relationships are meant to have a frequent meet up and them, being the only priority in their partner's life. Which are to me, they're exactly false.

If that do happen to me in real life, i would... well, i have something in mind. Definitely won't say it out here. Haha. Just that, anything for that one and only, who's always there. But... dont ask me, i donnoe where. Nyahaha. (:

Okay, ignore about relationships. A pact has been made between Su, Shaq, Val, Mac and me over at Botanic garden yesterday. Which is to remain the singlehood status and mingle around with people of different walks of life throughout this three years journey. 2012 shall be the year where everything changed. Muahaha. And i'm keeping myself to it.

UNLESS..... unless if along the way, BY CHANCE, I met my very prince charming who could break the pact away with his very own special way? Nyahaha. Like both Haizad Imran and Taufik Batisah? (: Well, i doubt so. *smiles*

Heading Jemputan over at Tampines, followed by pool with the coursemate and Yoga's house for another session of squeezing the brain juice. hee :)

p/s: i love walking home alone from a distant area. The next round, anyone? (:

Labels: Time Check: 10:07 AM

I vow to rant happiness from today onwards. I vow to minimise the griefs in life. Regrets, no doubt, they are are inevitable. But as long as we know the boundaries and are willing to take each and every of those mishaps into a learning point, I'm sure everything will be on the right path.

Something miracle. I know it isn't going to happen but somewhere there, deep down inside, i believe there is an inch of hope. Ever since i realised it in my facebook notification, something just assured me it is there. After which, a greeting was brought up. A sudden acknowledgement that was. Though it was only a brief, yet it could make the heart jump for joy. A starting point that was. Prolly. Nevertheless, i'm never gonna put my finger onto it. Perhaps, this only acts as a spectacle for the oblivous blind sight i have.

Truth is, I'm starting to take consideration about my future. Life isn't just a dream, nor a fantasy like how i always think it is. It needs planning, some sort of a predictor to predict and subsequently minimise any sorrows that might cost oneself in the near future. Emotions and feelings aren't the only consideration that has to be prioritised. There are other vital things that need to be taken care of.

Labels: Time Check: 09:30 PM

Meet him, Muhammad Hasif, the classmate. I doubt there is any post ranted about him. Thus, being a goooood classmate, i shall hereby make him be known in this little blog of mine. Nyahah. Hence you, better be grateful for having a very thoughtful classmate like me, okay? Thank me with 99 roses, that'd be much better. Haha, kidding! (:

He was just a little kid in my eyes during orientation. An annoying pest in precise. Thought of introducing him to my little sister, since he isnt that bad looking. Thus, i assumed perhaps, Kaseh would have eyes on him. That'd be great having a ''brother-in-law'' who is in the same class as me. Thus, with that, i could keep my eyes always on him, for my little sister. That was what i thought initially. haha! Well, they're hopes that last but a moment. You know, everything happens for a reason. Thus, anything that dosent happen also holds meaning behind it.

Little did i know that he too, takes 45 to school. With that, friendship between us strengthens. From those everyday trips, we got to know and learn about each other better; from our beau ideals to our biggest flaws. Thus, with each other's presence, we learnt more about ourselves and tried to morph into near perfection. Like any other friendship, we were never away from stumbling blocks. Misunderstandings, quarrels, disputes, silent treatments etc were like our everyday routine, caused by our own misapprehensions towards each other. At times, i used to think that till when will those harsh treatments stop. However, thank god, we could still hold fast to all obstacles that came to us. Eventually now, after knowing ourselves and our friendship better, apparently, a new fresh of air seems to blow soothingly in this friendly state of ours (:

Classmate, worry not, i shall protect you from all evils and immoralities. Thus, NO girlfriends and NO love stories. For girls can be a pain in the neck for you and at times, they can be evil. Hehs! Never let them get through you by conquering your sane mind. So girls, please hands off from this little classmate of mine okay! Let him be awarded at least a Diploma first! Thank you! ((:

And the funny thing is... People around thought that there is something going on between us, since we're always be seen together. Hoho. Once and for all, he is my dearest classmate. Thus, no framing us okay? Hehs! (: Hmm, i wonder what if we were together as a couple... hmm..mwahahha *laughs cheekily* ((: Hasif, jom, kita ketawa bersama-sama (: heee.

Okay, the end. That is all about that dear classmate. May you be blessed with all happiness and may peace be upon you! May you get together with a good girl of your choice in the future, hehs! (:

I'll talk about the others in the next coming entries. Syahmeer will be next okay! (:

Aside that, i'm missing my one and only Love. The one who never failed to carve a smile on my face.



Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is impossible that you should ever part.

Thank God, despite the time and again of saying goodbye and the intention of drifting apart, we are still united as one. He, the one who has made my heart skip a beat each time i think of all our good times together. It all started slowly and unintendedly. Eventually, it blossomed like youth blossomed into matuarity. Though we may have hurt each other for innumerable time, the love within is still as strong as ever. Perhaps, stronger than before, fortified by those stumbing blocks that happened to test the patience between us.

Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the announcement of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. We dont need others to know. We dont need to make it big. We dont need to tell the whole world who we are. As long as both parties know what is deep down in the heart, that matters the most. It is not being secretive, like how people would see. It is not being unexpressive or unloving like what some would think it is, it is all in the heart. For the world dosent need to know who we belong to, as long as we know where we stand and who we are with. Once and again, that matters the most.

Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away. Like a mother and her children, they had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from their branches they found that they were one tree and not two. Thus, even if there isnt anymore ''butterflies in the tummy'' or the ''thumping of the heart'' occurs between both couple, love is still there.

I'm in love, totally head over heels for him. Someone whom i have my heart and eyes on. For now, he shall be known as Eivb♥♥

As stated in my tweeter, he never showed up, gone missing without a call. Thus i thought, he was playing me. With confusion and in a state of sadness, i held upon negativities on him. As i was walking away from my block vicinity to meet Syahmeer, he, from behind, ran towards me with anxiety. Dear you, my apologies for not picking up your calls. My apologies too, for thinking all sorts of silly stuff about you. For an hour, he was there by my side, calming myself down, keeping me company with happiness in within. Thanks for the wonderful night, dear Eivb, though it lasted for just a while. Still it was the best moment with you. We'll meet again! (:

A man may have different flowers BUT he has ONLY one rose. I believe in that. And i believe in your love♥♥

Labels: Time Check: 08:39PM

If I had one gift that I could give you, my friend, it would be the ability to see yourself as others see you, because only then would you know how extremely special you are.

By chance, we met. And by decision, we became friends. It was a moment of delight when i first saw you after friendship has acquired. In the ELP, that was. Vividly, it is still playing in my mind, like a movie without sound. Acknowledged with a smile and we bid each other with a warm goodbye. You were there as my listening ear, and so did i as yours. Everything became rigid when emotions start to bloom. Our friendship became strengthen, as though it was incapable to bending. Unfortunately, it was just for a momentary. That initial forte has turned feeble and faint, jeapardised by the emotions itself. Even our own favourite trademark, the super-wonder heroes is gone. A sweet memories of gone summers.

You thanked me for the drinks i bought. But do know that, they mean nothing compared to the things you did for me. That lovely MP4, which i have been wanting from years back then. And your sudden surprised to my house, with a box of Dove and a Ferrero heart shape box, which i have been craving for days. Not forgetting about all the efforts you put in for my birthday celebration. They were just incredibly sweet and touching. I couldnt thank you more, for a thank you is more than not enough.

My apologies for not being a good friend. My apologies for hurting you over again. My apologies for everything wrong. I just donwanna see you suffer any longer. All i wanna see is your happiness. Only then would i be in joy. For thats what a best friend would want to see in her other half. Friendship dosent determine the period they have been with, but more to how far have they swam down to each other's heart. Even if you're drowned in each other's, the purity and the sincerity of your friendship will, by all odds, save you from any catastrophe.

Dearest Bestfriend, we may not be together, with our hearts joining as one. But do bear in mind that, we'll always be good friends, with two bodies sharing one mind. Telepathy between us, remember? Do know that my prayers are always with you :)

Because of you, i got to know many good friends around. Thanks for introducing me to them. Be it girls or boys. (: And ouh, do know that i'm gonna miss your handphone truckloads. Teehee ^^

The bestest friends of all, shall we? :)



someone is being MIA, when im in need of him the most. bleaghhh~


& Bigbro Izwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan! Please get into your NPCC uniform, and save me faaaaaaaast!! :'( For only you can i hold on to, LIKE ALWAYS. Sobs!

Labels: Time Check: 05:45 PM

Everything happens for a reason. Everyone has their own roles to play. It's either they play them well or the otherwise. Apart from that, assistance too are muchly required. You can't expect one person to do everything all alone. That's when the term 'give and take' comes about. Without it, even a firm building with a compact concrete could collapse.

I take this as an experience. Though the time period is a mystery, I doubt it can go any further. That is IF this continues.

Holidays are coming soon. And I'm anticipating the coming! Yay! :)

Holidays = Work = Salary = Cash = Woohoo! (:

p/s: I wish everything is free in this world... apparantly NO!

Mind that!

Labels: Time Check: 7:29 PM