Aku akan mencuba berikan yang terbaik untuk kau miliki. Tapi maafkan lah aku waktu ku hanya sesaat. Aku tak bisa memiliki, menjaga cintamu walau sesungguhnya hatiku mencintaimu.. memilikimu........

Aku tak bisa memilikimu. A song from Dygta. Currently in the playing track. With confusion, i'm stuck with two sets of mind. Unsure of the next route to proceed. Tried taking one of them. Instead, tears came down rolling like a companion. Not saying there isnt any happiness but less of it. I craved for something solid, where there is firmness and having it to be built like three dimension. Sadly, it isnt. I donwanna live in fantasy, no more. I donwanna see myself just in dreams. For reality is what i'm living in. I'm not giving up though but i wanna take a rest, a break from everything.

Labels: Time Check: 09:50 AM

Escape theme park with YOU later on, yaaaay!
Together with both Adlin and Mun, doublee yaaaay!

Chalet was a blast! Even though there were at times when we were on high rocky heels.
Update soooon! ((:

i cant wait i cant wait. i cant wait to meet my darling Adlin!
Teeehheee..

but im excited to meet you. (:


Nightmare yesterday was truly harsh. Hopefully, in reality it'd be the otherwise. i wanna be with you for as long as eternity. Especially deep down in the heart that is! (:

Labels: Time Check: 11:47AM

Insomnia troubled me yesterday. My rest was disturbed by all sorts of thing that apparently seemed downright perplexed. Nonetheless, they were the one that kept me company through the night. Ironic as it may be, i'm once again thankful for having the opportunity to chance upon those bewilderment. Without them, prolly i would be in hesitation to predict how future might turn out to be or how would i lead this enchanting world in years to come.

2010. The final year of my adolescent. I should step up and stop being a juvenile like how ive embraced myself to become. Like any other girls, I used to often think and persue romance, happiness, beauty, fashions, pleasures, and whatsnot, those typical girls' stuffs. But hey, what are they if you're ignorant of your trueself. A Self-illiterate, in another term. How saddening can that be.

A soul-searching is crucial before searching for your other half.



I miss you, still.
And i'm yearning for you now.
Though i know its not the time to.

Do come by our 0909 class chalet, Love.


SMS-Conversation between me and those Sweethearts! (:
Kes nak minta simpati! nyahahah~

Ain:
Ady, Aku rindu _____ :'(

Ady:
Hahahahaa ! Abeyh ? Aku bkn _____ . Lol !

Lerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, sedih pe! haha

Ain:
Helmi, aku rindu ______ :'(

Helmi:
alamak.. knape nie?.. _____da tk rapat dengan kau lagi?

-.- apedaaaaaa haha

Ain:
Syahmeer, aku rindu ________ :'(

Syahmeer:
Haha! Basket tak rindu aku!

Hmph! ishk!!


Come back fastfast lah youuuu! :(

Labels: Time Check: 11:54 AM

Currently hitting the cafe world. Been into it since three days ago. Nyahaha. It is surprisingly fun even though Sis kaseh has been lecturing me about it. Why bother me playing? Lol.

Bedok library yesterday during the evening. Been aeons since i last stepped my foot at that place. All memories dashed through my mind. Those primary school days. The days where i'll spend 60% of my time with either sis&cousin or the lower primary school girlfriends. I miss them. I miss how we would bitch around about just anyone and everything. Aqilah, Zakiah, Ros & Subrina. Yeaa, those beautiful girls! Sooon, we needa catch up. Not forgetting the upper primary clans too; Maziah, Atikah, Farah, Yati, Afina. Hehs. Gosh speaking of this, it really reminds me of Mahathir, Haziq and Suradi. Hoho. It was really a story of decades ago. But memories are definitely sweet to relive them back again. Haha. Now, i'm feeling all so silly, teeheee~

Somehow, i remembered my conversation with Munir vividly, which happened on my 11th year.

Munir:
You like haziq right?
Ain:
No. i only admire.
Munir:
Admire and like, same lah.
Ain:
Like, is you like the person. Admire is about the character, not the person.

LOL!

Temasek is full of memories, with many malay communities here and there. Unlike Bartley, which is more of an international school, with few malays. Nonetheless, i still cherish that place as it was where i met good friends of the same and different races, as one! ((:

Sadly, the handphones i possesed during my primary school days were without camera. Thus, having me no pictures of Temasekians together. Sobs!

Anyway, i dont like the current version of flash! I prefer the old one! Used to really master it. Sadly after i quited informatics, my brain seems to shut off from those softwares. Argh. Worst, i threw all the books away. Be it Java, html, dreamweaver, fireworks etc. Sians~ Waste my parents thousands oni. I wonder why they hadnt teach me about cshark and c++ or i wouldnt be that miserable now, trying to cope myself with the projects. Okay. I miss informatics school! The very first school i stepped even before i step into kindergaten. According to ibu, i was with my ''botol susu'' during my first year there. I was onli 3 years old then? Hee.. Quited during my 11th year. Due to my laziness that was. Menyesal! 7-8 years in informatics were the bestest moment ever. Especially at Marine Parade. But now, it has been transfered to Tampines. Mission during the next holidays is to relive those studies once again. Library shall be the spot! Companion, anyone? (:

Hmm, pretty much seems that ive been blabbering about schools in this post. Well, truth is, i'm missing school. A week more to saying goodbye to holidays and i cant wait. But not the results that ill be getting. Cos i'm not all excited to see those bad grades. Didnt really do them well, one thing im very sure of. Thus, really need to buck up for the semestral exams.

Okay, i wanna play some games. 0909 Chalet tomorrow. Heard that not many will come down. Had a feeling that it wouldnt be that happening like the previous one. Well, we'll see how. I'll come back with more news next week. Costa Sands R04 the room is! (:

Takecare! (:


p/s: i wanna plan E1/E2 chalet during the March Holidays. $158 per room(single storey). GFs, jom join sekaki! (:




saya rindu kamu! hubungi saya setibanya kamu di singapura yaaa! (:

Labels: Time Check: 11:54 PM

Aku dirundung seribu satu macam perasaan yang tidak menentu.
Otak ku serabut memikirkan tentang apa yang selama ini
menghantui jiwa ragaku. Kelemahan diri menewaskan segala apa yang berfungsi di dalam diriku. Tatkala fikiran merayau mencari ketenangan, di situ datangnya keinsafan.
Selama ini, ternyata aku dibuai keinginan yang pastinya tidak membuahkan hasil.
Bak seperti masuk telinga kiri, keluar telinga kanan.
Hidup bagaikan tiada erti. Namun, syukur aku masih disayangi. Doaku akhirnya diterima jua.
Titisan jernih membasahi pipi, jatuh bercucuran bersama segala titik hitam yang selama ini, aku lalui tanpa obor di hati.
Moga kini, aku diterangi oleh keikhlasan dan kejujuran di dalam diri. Amin.

Labels: Time Check: 09:01 PM

Second post of the day.

1) I'm feeling all bored here. Little sister is still sleeping. Internet is getting mundane by the day.
2) I'm getting all annoyed by someone's pesters. Felt like deleting him off the FB and MSN account.
3) I'm drained. The brain seems to no longer have any happy juice. The reason to why im feeling all cranky i believe.
4) Irritated by the phone. Keep on vibrating. Felt like shutting it off.
5) Bothered by the hellos from those annoying facebook people.
6) None of them all is what and from whom i wishes to be. Gaaaah!
7) Miffed by the cramps im feeling now. nyeh!
8) Tired looking at the available users from the MSN account.
9) Syahmeer's out from the list, leaving me all alone, chatting with people i dont wish to. Roarrr!
10) Someone's not answering his phone. Thanks ehh bfmm! hmph!
11) I suddenly miss my old days. Those wonderful days with my awesome people. But life has to go on, baby. Everybody has their own path to go. Sobs!
12) I'm feeling all shag knowing that im no longer my old self. I need a time machine! Take me back to my Seventeenth! I'm missing those splendid old days. The days which I AM MYSELF. The days which i really do potray myself.
13) I'm missing those people during those years who have made an impact in my life.
14) I wanna have fun outside like how i used to before..... Now, apparently i feel as though "macam katak bawah tempurung" Haishhhh!
15) But strangely, each time i was asked to go out, i'd think of all ideas to free myself. Feeling all silly now!

Taken during that precious 2008. See how vibrant my smiles were. i WAS that happy. 2010 is coming in 9 days time. Hopefully, its gonna be a better one. Somehow, im not anticipating January. Not even on the 27th.

Labels: Time Check: 1:49PM

I'm not all prepared for Digital Electronics. And to top it up, i'm not even prepared for later's camp either. Worst, i'm absolutely not prepared to be all apart from that babyboy of mine. Sobs! :(

Well, on the brighter note, im sure fun moments will be held during those 2 nights 3 days camp. With the plan made by Atikah, Farhan and me, which is to enjoy the nights together, with Ram and Brother meow tagging along. Weee. I'm sure it's gonna be a blast. I wannna lie down on the green patch with my eyes looking up to the dark sky, with the moon and stars shining their charming lights onto me. Wooohooo! (:


Yesterday's celebration was awesome. Happy 18th Brother Wenkai! M18 movie together? Wooo.. I likeeee. Lol! NS sooon? Sobs. Everyone's leaving me for NS. I'm hating it! Anyway, photos will soon be up in Facebook. Superfarhaaaan! Remember to tag us all yea! ((:


Aside that, 2 hours more till i hear his voice again. I'm excited. Free waking up call? Tell me who wouldnt be all excited, especially from your dear one? Nyahaha~ And 3 hours more till the eyes meeet. Yay!


Okay. DE paper will be held at 11am later. Can i just buy an MC and take it on a later date? Caaaan i? Hmmmm.. Sadly, i cant. Seeediiih! The bed is currently in a mess with DE papers here and there. However still, im just not in the mood for it. Hmm. Okay, 10 min time, i'll start the revision back again.

Superfarhan:
Apa buat ni.......... BELAAAAAAJAR!!

hahahahahahaha!! Okayyyy. I was high on sugaaaar yesterday that i cant seem to stop singing and dancing while on the way to 45. Pity those two kids. Especially Atikah. Taaak baik sungguh kita dua, kan farhaan? LOL!

I shall stop my yakkings fpr now. I'll be back soon with more stories on Monday since ill be all free by then. Speaking of which, Khaaaair, my apologies taaau. Jangaan merajuk yee. I'll make up for it. Promise Promise. During my long long long vacation, on a long long journey we'll both both go! (((((((:


Take care Semuanya! ((:

Random:
I WANNA GO MARINA BARRAGE AND HAVE A SIMPLE PICNIC ON A BRIGHT BRIGHT MAT WITH SMILES FLYING AROUND THE ATMOSPHERE. Hmmmmmmm...



okay, enough of those unfulfilled desires. hurhur~



.

.

.

With your voice, my smiles are true. With your presence, my eyes never lies. With your love, i feel e warmths. And with your faith and belief, i feel all complete. Cause you... you're the light. That light who never stop shining into my darkness. Dare i say here, i'm head over heels for you (:

Do know this... I'll be missing you day and night, every minute of the time. I shall hold fast to my faith and let each day passes by slowly but surely till the day ill see you again (:

abcdefaabcdefiabcdefn abcdefsabcdefaabcdefyabcdefaabcdefnabcdefg abcdefhabcdefaabcdefsabcefiabcdeff <33

Absence makes the heart grows fonder, baby! (:

Labels: Time Check: 6:55 AM

I wonder how Love comes about. And what does it resembles? Perhaps through verbally or maybe by the term 'physicals'? What says you?

Well people, as for me, ever since my break up with Abang Hilmi, i never again truly believe in the word Love between two different genders. What's more between both who just knew each other not for long, and like fire, it sparks the word Love in the spur of a moment. Don't you think perhaps those people are a bit exaggerating or prolly, they're trying to buy the other with that word? Easy used-word but if it's really honestly true, which is really comes from the heart, you'll feel a tinge of hesitant to say it out, not because you are unsure, neither you are afraid that you might come to realise that you've been deluding yourself BUT.......

Dont you thing that the word "Love" has a magical force in it? Some sort of.... It is not just four letters which can be easily articulated to form a word. It is more than that. Facta Non Verba or in its english term, Deeds Not Words comes to play a big role here. I wonder why people these days seems to have the tendency to spoil that special word by mistreating it. It is really sad to chance upon that kind of people. Well, nothing you can really do about it (:

.
.
.

Okay, enough of those sentimentals. Hehs. Lets have a change of mode! Teehee =D

Common Tests are drawing nearer. Err, wait, its starting from this Monday onwards. Friday is the ending, followed by SEG camp till Sunday. 0909 Chalet will then take place on the 28th till 30th. Outing here and there in the middle of after camp and the starting of chalet. Gosh, this short holiday is gonna be a real hectic! Hoho. Come by soon. Sounds pretty interesting they are. Nyehh! =D Will update more about them. =)

Oh yah, January's coming soon. Before long, im turning 19. Goodness! Feel so old but people say, the older the better. Okay, pretty much lame! (:

These two days, burning the midnight oil is a must! Unless if i wanna book a coffin for myself! Siaaan! Ibu said she'll sponsor me the cash for my hair to be rebonded if i pass my tests.... if i pass my tests. Hmmmm..... But i'm still in reluctance if i wanna have it rebonded. i wanna see it growing long without anything done onto it. Well, we'll see how (:

Arnold afterwards with the family. Chicken. Buns. Fries. hahs. Tapau anyone? haha. Till i come again, I'll stop here! Takecare! (:

............................................

ps: To my superhero buddy, im happy for you. From the start, i knew that you and her are meant to be. All the way to win her heart once again aite! (: All blessing's with you, my friend! :)

Labels: Time Check: 11:30AM

Live Audio Sentosa outing photos are all have yet to receive, scattered around with various sweethearts. Facebook shall do the job. Keep waiting. Keep keep waiting.. Lol! (:

The outing was definitely a blast! Except for the tide which was disappointingly low. Had to really swim a mile away in order to get the feet off the ''chewy sand'' Hahs! Seriously, it was dead set annoying being in a low tide level!

Excitedly dressed up to meet Adlin for Kick it Event. 969 with her before we proceed to school via train. Saw someone walking towards the school. Nudged Adlin to hesitate our walking for a minute or two. Fortunately that someone wasnt aware of our presence or else, i wouldnt know how i'd react after which. Rambled about him nonstop that i actually missed a step while walking up the staircase and i was even on the verge of tripping. However, i didnt. Thank god! Hehs! Gosh! Perhaps, i was just too nervous to let the eyes meet. haha.

Played ''hide and seek'' game whenever he was looking at our direction. Poor Adlin, she had to entertain my nonsense, haha! Run here and there untill we decided to stop and settle down, stayput at one place. Hahs.

"Heeee.Awakkk.Thankss..._____.Terharu kite bile awak dtg."

That message. That sms. That sentence. They just made my day. It was just so undeniably Perfect! A smile was then craved instantly with bliss and intense joy. Teeheee (:

Sat around attentively looking around then my eyes suddenly caught sight of this built young man, with a very charming smile plastered on his sweet face. He was there! Hahs. After greeting each other via facebook, we've yet to bump into each other again until yesterday and today. Again, like yesterday, our eyes engaged and we smiled. LOL! but this time round, i wonder why the heck did i wave at him? Goodness! LOL! Luckily he smiled at me or else, i wouldnt know where to hide my face at. Hahs! Enough of that. By the way, MSN added! Haha!

Disturbed bigbro Izwan. Little did i know that he was having some morning meeting. Hehe. Good thing that he still replied! Yayyy, Sayaaaang that big bro much much! Lol! *but i sayaaang my babyboy more okaaaay* haha.

Went to meet the LA people for a while. Later on, he came into the room. Lalala~ But little disappointing, we didnt really talk much. And the way he talked to Others was wayyyy detailed if compared when talking to me. Maybe there wasnt anything for us to talk about, i guess? Heck, at least his messages made me smile. So nothing beats that. hehs! (:

Rushed home soon after which, to get ready for Sentosa. Made a burger sandwich for Atikah since shes yet to have any breakfast. That was a last minute preparation by the way. Luckily it was edible. Hehs. Then ran my way through to the train(exactly 6 min from my place to the train! yayy!) and allighted at Harbourfront. From there, both Atikah and me set off to Siloso beach. Happy! (:

What happen during the outing? Stay tune for the pictures to be scattered around facebook. haha!



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if i didnt reply you, would you feel somthing is amiss? if i didnt talk to you, would you feel restless? and if im not here, would you miss me? Such qns keep haunting me. That im sure one day, ull get bored and start to drift away. The reasons to why i rather have us go on our separate ways, for i believe another will come by who could give you much more happiness without burdening you like how i always pile it up on you. sss.