I wanna go away, far far AWAY from YOU!
Period!

Labels: Time checked: 11.38 PM

Di dalam genggaman ini, layang-layang itu tidak pernah hilang. Ke hulu ke hilir, aku membawanya, selalu dekat di sisi. Namun, hampa aku dibuatnya tatkala angin bayu seolah-olah mengusung ia jauh ke usuk barat. Bagaikan timur tidak lagi dipandangnya. Ikutkan hati, ingin sahaja aku merentapnya, kembali dekat di sisi. Malangnya, semakin kuat rasa hati ini ingin memanggilnya pulang, semakin kuat lagi gerak hati ingin sahaja membiarkan ia pergi. Pergi jauh tidak kembali.

Andai sungguh ia tahu apa yang selama ini tertakhluk di hati...........

Namun, akan ku kini leraikan semuanya di sini, agar segala rasa tidak lagi bersemadi di hati.


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Very sweeet! Taken from "Kuliah Cinta".

Labels: Time checked: 5.50 PM

Eyes are still wide open, despite the promises I've made to MRsomeone that I'll sleep early today. For that, to you, I'm sorry.

Don't you think that the life you're going through is somewhat weird? At the same time, absolutely unique in its very own way. How one thing could lead to another. The simplest thing can actually make a significant change on various things. Like a cycle, if any of its sequences are affected, it will emphatically has an effect to the upcoming one. Even if its just a bare impingement.

But i still believe, there is always a reason to everything. Thus, perhaps, due to those impact, a happier life will be in the way. You may not see it now, but later on, in the near future, it'll be clearly seen.

I've seen it myself the beautiful effect it has on me. I'm now smiling gleefully to how ive changed from that kind of terrible mood to this. How refreshing! No words could ever describe the feeling i'm now having deep inside. Been a while since it came. I donwanna wish to release it, not at all. Gonna hold it near and dearly to my heart; something i will uphold, till the day i have to let it go, which i'll pray it'll never come.

Labels: Time checked: 5.07 AM

The handphone bill came today. $160 for this month. Somehow or rather, i don't feel the need of handphone these few days. In fact, I've been shuting it down ever since this morn.

As i'm ranting this entry, i'm feeling all cranky. Wish that i could just stray myself away in a place where there is nothing. Somewhere where i could fly myself up high freely. It's like my mind couldn't explain what's in the heart content. Everything seems so obscured.

I've seen things you havent. I've experienced things you've yet to. I've gone through things you would never want to. Like a flower that has yet to blossom. I need a fruit. A fruit to keep me all nutritious. Could you?

Presenting you the NYP News Channel from EC0909
; Joanna, Syahmeer, Hasif, Ady, Helmi, Ain
Hehs!

Labels: Time Checked: 10.47 PM

Extremely was healthy the day before. Been aeons since i last caught a flu and the darn fever. Unfortunately they struck me today. Early in the morn, i was moaning for blankets. One after another. Ibu was utterly shock by it. This morning was frigging cold despite the fact that the fan has been tilted to the other corner. Awful!

Felt like a megrim. But neah, i don't think so. Definitely just a normal headache. Yea, that similar kind of pain. Felt so woozy each time i stood up. Finally, i dwelt back on my bed and fell into a deeep sleep. Ibu then took a firm stand to bring me to the doctor. Initially, i was dragging my feet to go there but after seeing her endless bugging, i had no choice but to just go with the flow.

The doctor was so frigging cute! Not as in adorable but it was actually more to a sacarsm remark! Hehs.

Doctor:
Have you not getting enough sleep?
Me:
Errrr...
Doctor:
Okay, from now onwards, sleep early.
Me:
????

Gosh! Perhaps due to my puffy eyes, yea? Seriously, i was really lack of energy to even reply any of his questions. Prolly more of his nonsense. Hehs. Okay, fine! I'm being very temperamental today. Thanks to this darn headache! I should be resting now and not get my eyes fixed to the screen. But heck, the project seems easy but not when i tried to compile & run it. 20% done on my side. Left vacuous for the remainders! Help, anyone!

Will be meeting those boys in an hour or two. Better get some rest for a mo. Starting to see stars here and there, argh! Takecare!

Labels: Time Checked: 5.18PM

They were saying about CUM.
What the heck.
A bunch of High people there. hahs.
Nevertheless, they're still as cute as ever.
Not forgetting, as horny as they always be. LOL!
And now, i'm anticipating the day that we're gonna meet up.
A hell of a reunion outing, definitely.

In short, I miss my fellow E2-ians okay! (((:

Those EC0909 malay guys were playing soccer outside the lecture theatres.
It led me to the past memories.
After school, 4E2s would assemble outside NCC room, playing around with bottles, treating them as though they were soccer balls. Hilarious yet an authentic moment that was! (:

Apart from that, it also brought back memories between me and the ex-boyfriend. The time how he used to teach me the methods of playing soccer. Fun time we had, no doubt. Especially the time when we were with his fellow friends. I would tag along as a nosey-parker, meddling in their affairs. LOL!

Somehow or rather, both Zyzy and Ady remind me of Emieyn. Yea, I used to be one hell of an outgoing girlfriend who would get along with his friends in just a blink of an eye. And he would never leave me alone even if his friends were around. Probably the reason why i had never disagree to follow any of his outings with his fellow friends. In fact, i enjoyed every min of it. A character in him which i truly admire. Something i don't really see in most guys these days. Somewhat, they didnt really know how to differenciate between friends and girlfriend. Worst still, new friends and the old friends. Utterly dissapointed in some people.

Many people have been asking me about relationship. Truthfully, the first thing that came to mind was, "Siow arh?!" Lol! Please never, Never ask me any questions regarding the above subject. I simply have never thought about it before the moment i said goodbye to my 5 years 3 months 10 days relationship, Haha! I never hated guys. Not even that I have became a lesbian, haha (funny sia you people who have been asking my lil sister about this, lol!) I'm still straight for goodness sake! hehs :D And I still have a thing for man! (take note of this, MAN!)

However, my likings towards those random strangers are like hello & goodbye. Never really got stuck inside. Probably less than an hour. Hoho! Liking someone is not my game. If i like, means i really like. What's more Love. If that happens, it means i finally have met my very prince charming. Well, not for now though. 'Like' maybe there IS. (hear this, LIKE & IS!)

Me:
Ibu, kakak taknak kahwin.
Ibu:
Huh? Abih kau taknak anak?
Me:
Taknak!
Ibu:
Abih nak tinggal dgn sapa?
Me:
Tinggal Sorang!
Ibu:
Abih ibu kau nak campak kat mana?
Me:
ehhh? Tinggal dgn ibu sekali laaa.

LOL! something random like that also kena shoot! Ishk!

Sometimes, it feels so real that i dont wish to be with anyone.
At times, it varies.
Where has the passionate character in me gone to?
I've somewhat faded away the fairytales in me.
No longer who i used to be.
I missed my old self.
The lala-wonderland girl who's so passionate like those princesses in fairyland.
Hmmm...






I love my girls! Hehs!
They're the best!! ((:

Labels: Time Checked: 11:45 PM

Yesterday marked the last day of common tests. Despite that, i've 6 more weeks to brush everything up before i meet the semester exam. Especially for my 1005 module.

Camwhored with the girls. We had the utmost fun time together. Adore them much! (:

To tripple S, You shown me your true colours yesterday when you pushed me aside each time you're with them. Even though we speak the same language but we don't seem to understand each other. Freqently we'd argue and misunderstanding seems to arise. The reason why we always tend to drown each out. I shall now reclaim the neutral feeling back again. True what both Jeya and Ben said, you aren't for real.







Right after school, took 45 back home before heading dinner with the classmates at 1830; Jeya, Syahmeer, Helmi, Loksang, Dennis, Ben, Gary, Kai and Shaun. Clarke Quay was ventured. Halal foods were limited. Finally at 2115, we hit Burger King and enjoyed our meals together. The night was loved. Thanks to them for advising me on certain thing. They are really such a sweetheart. Camwhored here and there before we bid each other goodbye. Reached home punctually at 11pm (:








-More photos with Jeya. =D

I'm starting to be enamoured with anime back again. Speaking of which, It reminds me on how I used to fall head over heels with cartoons. However, as years passed by, the fascination for it apparently seemed to fade away. Thanks to Hasif for introducing me kazeebo.com. One piece shall be the series for now (:

Starting proper lessons on this coming Monday. Excited.


p/s: Till when will our night talking last?

Labels: Time Checked: 3.58 PM

Three papers down and now, left with one! Woohoo!
Computer Programming Dev C++.
Undeniably difficult, never an easy module for me.
However still, i'm gonna pull through!
Never give up, never back down, baby!

First and foremost,
HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY TO OUR DEAR GARY!
Right after 1004 paper, the class headed MacD canteen. Celebration was held there, with our yummy chocolate cake! *Wide smiles! Yayy! =DD

Soon after which, we bid each other goodbye. Initially, thought of going home. But later on when 45 came, i ignored it and took 72 instead. Headed Tampiness Mall, with the intention of buying a gift and roaming the area alone. Well, it has been a while since i last took the air on my own. Cherished the moment. Nonetheless, after several minutes later, unexpectedly bumped into Shaun. Haha. Both of us were alone at that point of time. Since i was searching for an appropriate gift, he decided to accompany me. Glad to chance upon him. Despite being a guy, he was the one who chose the gift for me. Awwww, thanks Shaun. Awesome you! =D Not only that, we also raved around Tampines 1. Gift shops and all those which sell soft toys and childrens' stuffs were our main target for the day. We then saw this one gigantic carebear with roses. Both of us were somehow amazed by it. The thing was effing sweeet! Can i have one of that please, GIRLFRIENDS? Hehs! To both Elfyee and Dee, you better do take note of that okay! I want a bouquet of roses!! Red roses! Hohoho! :) Afterwhich, he sent me to the MRT before i bid him an audieu. Ouh ya, I was being awfully blur today, perhaps due to his presence. Had a cute argument with him about this whole blur issue, haha. Funny guy lah he!

Something so CUTE.

Me:
You from where?
Shaun:
From NYP la. Then you?
Me:
From NYP also la.

What a bonus question! We were from the same place in the beginning. Should have taken the train with him. Aiyo! haha.

Something that both Jeya and I talked about while in the bus earlier today. Regarding these two friends who are of the different gender. Eversince the silent treatment they had during that first night, they have now been the talk of the semester. According to Jeya, he is too young to know all this. Well, to me, i can't really put my finger on it since he acted so well, as though he knows about everything. Again, she said, he may probably wanted to act as a player, playing with girls' heart. And lastly she added that he's not someone who can seriously be with at the moment. True what Jeya said that from the look of it, the girl might apparently have a slight feeling for him but not too sure how strong it has became. However, the Bengs said the otherwise. Even so, both Jeya and the Bengs have promised to protect her if her heart were to be mistreated by him.

Note to the girl (if you happened to come across this little entry):
We've been friends for so long. Thus, it is safe to say that i know everything about you. From your likes to your dislikes. I wonder why of all guys around, your heart sees him? I'm not saying that he's a bad choice. In fact, i'd give a thumbs-up to him. Someone different. But didnt you think that it'd be unfair to him? It was once a taboo matter to you. Why has it now been laid off from your mind? Something that i've been wondering till now. Don't poison his mind. Don't give him anymore hopes if you're not serious. He's a good boy for goodness sake! Thus, i plead you to end this game. For him and for yourself. It's gonna be tuff, no doubt. But there's no harm trying, unless you wanna create more problems. Aren't you had enough of those problems you've created from the past? Free yourself from this like how you've promised before.

Note to the boy (if you happened to come across this lil entry):
For your own safety, better take a step back and move on from there. She is not worth your while. End the game. Put a stop to all emotions and feelings. Stop deluding yourself and lead each other on. Stray yourself away and be back to square one.

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The heart breaks into pieces the minute her opinion was shared.
Rather say goodbye than getting the heart get slashed.
And I shall now hereby to erase everything from where/how it started.
Takecare.

...Through electronic waves, our hearts are connectetd

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Something taken from Hakim's blog.
i totally am agree with his opinion regarding LOVE.

Love. It’s a commonly thrown around four-letter word.
I love burgers or I love soccer.
Sometimes, even an I love him or I love her.
And what is true love?
There's always a difference between true love and the heart-pounding adrenaline rush I feel when I see,
"You know the person I’m talking about",
"That hot guy playing basketball at the court",
"The cute girl who makes eye contact with me as she passes by",
"The friend of a friend of a friend",
"Maybe a best friend".

And true love is when, you care for that person.
Keep track of what he or she does.
And comments and actions which we analyzed on.

There sure are few things that love isn't.
Love isn't a feeling.
Although real love is often accompanied by strong feelings.
Love does not equate with the sense of floating on clouds.
Unlike the type of love that movies, television, and songs portray.
People in love don’t always feel ooey gooey around each other.

To me, love is something that will come by unexpectedly.
You may always have liked this particular guy or girl from a far.
But he or she just seems to ignore or doesn't seem to realized that you like her or him that much.
I keep this to my heart.
Its not knowing who you like,
But its knowing who likes you, that matters.
Because, if you lose that person,
You may never ever have a chance to say "Hi" again.
And that person that you like, may not love you as much as the one that constantly eyes you every moment.
Sometimes, we just need to open our eyes and appreciate every gesture that others do for us.
Because every sense of appreciation is greatly cherished.
No matter how hard you try to get the attention of the ones you like, it wont be as hard as the ones that loves you, knows you inside out, and treasures every moment being able to see your face.
True love doesn't come easy.
But it wont be that hard to realized there's always someone watching your back.
Knowing that he or she will be there to pick you up when you fall.
Trying to always cheer you up when you're upset.
He or she doesn't necessarily have to talk to you.
But your presence will obviously make a great deal to him or her.
And if you do know any such person, that may just be the one for you.
Take it slowly, and surely, you will finally find out the real meaning if love.
And love never sucks,
It just sucks because you haven't found the one yet.

Labels: Time Checked: 5.18PM

Everything seems so hazy now. I don't seem to view things in a clearer node. Like a motion, moving slowly. Perhaps soon to decelerate. One moment, as though it is the world. At another, so low till i can't seem to see it. Hatred? No, no more of those insignificant feelings instilled.

Within that short period, you entered.
leaving me breathless, feeling so glad.
Later on, fairy tale wasn't what i enamoured.
For in reality you came in, marvelled me on everything.

Alas, all thing seems a momentary.
Fading away each time we bid goodbye.
You no longer there, nor do i.
Like strangers, worst than that i supposed.

• Why do i feel your missing presence when you're not here. But each time when you're there before me, i'd get all tense up and feel like running away, far far away from you?
• Why do i impatiently wait for the next morning to arrive but when the sun's up high, i'd feel all anxious that i'd tend to hide myself to a corner without having to say hello.
• Why do i have to feel this when i'm not supposed to?

Complementary subject. Discussed it with both Ibu and Ayah. Finally done! (:

1. Thinking & Problem Solving Skills
2. Personal Development
3. Japanese Language 1
4. French Language 1
5. German Language 1

1 paper down, 3 more to go.
All the best people! (:

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To my dear Big Brother Izwan, sometimes life is full of challenges. Especially in this kind of situation. Unknowingly, with those obstacles, the bond you both acquired now will become fortified, preparing you for the next level of hurdles. i'm sure everything will get back to how it used to be. Dont punish yourself for you are never wrong. Neither is she. Nor anyone else. This is what He, the Mighty wants. Something that He gave to test how strong the love you two hold for each other. A war that you both need to battle against together. With the companion of each other that is! Smile like you always do. I'm sure she'll fall in love all over again seeing that genuine smile of yours.

Labels: Time Checked: 7.47 PM

DO NOT ASSUME! Hehe... I am NOT assuming things!! I'm stating the fact!! haha You type so slow. I cannot wait to get away. What slow? ACTION lah you. I know you have long fingers. Been exercising your fingers on what ey? hahaha Ohmgosh. Why are you suddenly talking about fingers ehy? Well.. I don't exercise it on anything really. I just happen to have some really long and magical fingers. yea. =) Magical? Sounds wrong but tell you what, saying about magical, Aladdin is the only person who has magical carpet. And I am that fortunate girl who will have the ONLY opportunity to ride it with him. Hahahaha! Don't be jealous yea? (: Heh... so funneh. But no fair. Everything I say, you are writing down. Where can like this?! Where is she going? See what have you done to my baby sister? You look so fierce maybe! Smile more!! Don't tell me you dont how to smile! Wah lou! She's not a baby uh. She's 17 for crying out loud. and HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Someone calls you temperamental but ouh how sad, he didn't spell it right. Anyway, it's so true seh! Temperamental!! You are!! Yeayea! And btw, I can smile eh.. see. =DDDDDDDDDDDD Smiley! What temperamental? maybe he is saying that since there is an attack of H1N1, singaporeans need to take their temperature regularly thus leading them to have mental disorder. In short, Temperamental! Understand?? and =DDDD is not smiley face! True that i said you DON'T know how to smile!! Feelingless uh you! What rubbish are you typing? H1N1 does not affect the brain la ehy! Your sister laughs funny. Hehehehe... Well at least I don't walk like a stiff. Without my shoulders moving. Robot YOU! Yea... yea! Well, at least i didnt show STRANGERS my true colours! hahahaha Agree that i am NO robot! hahaha Wait, you are one dense person! I was trying to beat around the bush but you just didnt get it! DENSE YOU! hahaahah Uhhh........ huh? Well anyways, bush or not I still don't walk like one. I can swing my shoulders about and what is this show about huh? What show? What talking you? When are we gonna play BARBIE DOLLS? When you're staying over at my place okay! =DDDD Gonnnna meeeet a REAL BEAUTIFUL but DENSE lady sooooon! hehs Hmm... and whoa, this show is very distracting. Ehy, I dont look anything like Barbie uh.. she's got the double Ds. I've only got the As. Hehehehe.... Ahem. Satu kata satu doa. One say one wish! Don't say you wont have double Ds! One day after you have given birth, definitely you will have a pair of it! =DD Oooooooooooohhhhhh you are asking for it. Tak sayang mulut eh. Nak kene chili? Hehehe... Tapi takpe. I am patient. Hehehe.. I will want to be able to see my feet know. Double Ds will block my view. Heh.. and so difficult to run. HAIYO! Change topic la!!! Haaaaiiii....... Gosh! What a long entry we have for today! Hahaha! Alright, now, help me with the editting of pictures! Those webcams photos, LOVE! ((((: Hehe... ya uh.. though we are just sitting beside each other, we still have much to talk here eh! Aiyo... so childish. HAHAHAHAH!!! Say only she's 21 but still CHILDISH! hahaahahahahah Ewah! That's it.. chili coming. Watch out. Okay, we shall continue watching the crime WATCH! watch out for the crimes! WOOHOOO!! Roger and Out! Wait, CHILDISH YOU! hahahaha =DDD Mwaaah to you! (((: Correction, only to your cheek =DDD And Correction: It's "OVER" and out. not "Roger" and out. Aiyo. FAIL!

Labels: Time Checked: 9.46 PM

The old me has came back; that hyper-active kinda girl who always see the ray of light even in times of darkness. The enthusiams somehow ran through the whole of me the moment i breathe in the air in that vicinity. I miss that place. The place which i used to hang around till late evenings for three years(fetching someone from school). That place which met me with many strangers whom I've now regarded as my close buddy. That place which i used to always study till late nights even though i had no authority in it. In short, I miss that place. I really do.

Tini, Sufian, Hasif, Helmi, Syahmeer, Loksang, Dennis and me planned for a mugging session in Temasek Polytechnic yesterday. Meeting time was at 11am. Hasif was the first person to come. That guy really amazed me much. I never thought that he would arrive punctually. Truly, you really astonished me! Kudos to you, Mister! (:

Had breakfast in ITAS. Chanced upon Hilda, Rabeetah and friends. Hugged one another like we never hugged before. Hehs. Lovely. Yes, those girls are just like sugar. Sweeter than sugar i would say! To my very ex-boyfriend, you better do take good care of Rabeetah. A nice girl she is, with a genuinely sincere heart. Good people come once in a life time, do cherish one another. May all happiness be with the both of you, Insya'Allah (:

After which, we went seeking for a place to study. Since we couldnt enter that darn library, we chose the benches somewhere near Breadboard and did our work there. Loads of memories came dashing through my mind, just like a movie without sound. The time how I used to wait for people and run about everywhere with the girls. Despite being 17, we still have the kids in us. Hold on, Tini was 18 at that point of time. That Big Sister. haha (:

Came upon Ashary. Miss the time when i chatted with the boys while they were still in the lab doing their major project. Disturbing one another through virtual world was amazing. Still remembered how i used to call them on the phone just to ask about some random malay words even though none of them achieved A for that subj and how the whole group used to surround me while i was studying in the library. Ashary with his syarahan youtube which i love to watch and listen hehs, and the rest with their bike website and psp. Also, the time during my first O-level. I was in a dissappointing state. The one who calmed me down were them; Azeez, Dzariff, ex-boyfriend, and this one RP guy. Sweet people they are, no doubt (: Ex-boyfriend do have very good friends around him whom I never regret knowing. In fact, I'm missing some of his friends now. Azeez, Dzariff, Rafi, Kak Fad and Kak Aini in particular (: All the best in everything you people do! (:

By 5pm, everyone has gone home, leaving only Elfyee and me, waiting for Diyana whose lesson ended at 6pm. By the way, nice to know you, Hafeez. Haha. That guy seriously is funny! I just love the way how we both bullied Elfyee yesterday. Hehs! And I wanna meet Fathin again! hahaha LOL!

Elfyee was being lame yesterday on the MSN. Read our conversation. Lawak sungguh budak seorang ni tau! Lol!



The photos with the girls (:













Those girls above are the one who never fail to be there for me in times of rain or shine. I thank god for giving me the opportunity not only to know them but to be their girlfriend too.
I love them. And when I say I love, I really mean it. (:

Slept at around 6am yesterday. Despite sleeping that late, I'm still glad that i finally understood 1003, with the help of Hasif. Webcammed with him throughout the morn. Thanks, you. You know, sometimes I wonder why on earth i didnt put TP as one of my choices but after i met you, i now then understand why. Ure like that guardian angel who'll be helping me through in my studies (: Once again, terima kasih awak!
SSS to you. (:

2nd July, Thursday, 10.40pm.

i was afraid to involve myself in any other relationship right after the initial one. After months of letting loose, that phobia tend to shed away by the day. However, someone special sparked it once again. And now, i cant see myself tying any knots even down the road later. Let alone relationships, getting myself in love is something i dare not even do.

I admit i do have a feeling for someone. May not be to a large extend but he is still someone i see each time i close my eyes. Well, I'm not the kind who would fall for someone that easily. Cause i tend to judge a person not only from his head to toe but also from his every move. Be it from the way he eat, the way he talk, the way how he deliver stuffs to another etc. Every single thing/move do make an impact on me. Thus, thanks to that special someone, i instantly got rid of the feeling i have for that one soul the moment she said those piercing words to me. I'm scared. I'm afraid that if this feeling prolongs and if it dosent go the way how we want it to be, everything would just crumble down and fall apart. Being strangers is much more preferable rathan being just a casual friend. It's like falling from a succeeding top. No doubt, it'd crashed me heaps! I've experienced something like this once. And now, it's happening to me. The heartrending moments. If you're someone no special to me, i'd not give much a bother but heck, you are. I'm breaking down, can't you tell, my dear?

Labels: Time Checked: 1.26 PM