What was i thinking? Why did i even have that tinge of thoughts?

Everything was a mistake. Deluding each other was something awful. Something that we shouldnt be doing in the very first place. We both know that it was neutral. But we still continue leading each other on. End it. Stop it right away. A distance between us that is.

Gosh! Once again, what was i thinking. True what those boys said. I should have just back out and terminate it.

Labels: Time Checked: 10.26 PM

Taken from part of the SMSes.

Rose:
I'm sorry if my presence seems an inconvenience to you. Seemingly you're just as unfriendly as how you usually project yourself. I'm here to widen my circle of friends. But apparently you sounded harsh. Just so you know, i'm sincere in making friends but now, i shall lay off the intention, with a hope, may happiness be with you.

Thorn:
Let me tell you this. It seems that making friends without introducing one's name is very rude. Also, judging that person by the way he presents him or herself is another way of profiling people. It means that you just go by the cover. That is a very contradicting character. Just by saying this, you have just present a character of yourself, which is, self-conclusion. You say widening your circle of friendship? I will tell you that, you are just shrinking it. If you don't know how to properly introduce yourself, then it's time you get to learn one. I still donno who you are though name given, thank you, but i know you're one kind who spreads happiness in a way where people will not like it. Well, for others, i don't know. For me yes. And my exams are not near yet. So you have frankly speaking waste your messages wishing me luck. But anyway, thank you.

Rose:
And let me tell you this. It seems that you are someone who instill no patience in yourself. Apart from that, someone who lacks innovation skills which leads to no creativity. Who probably would go about asking for answers rather than seeking them with your own efforts. Maybe untrue to others. But to me yes, definitely. You say i go by the cover. If i am, i wouldn't effortly be seeking your number, trying to flip through the pages without permenantly being deluded by the cover. From this, you have just presented me another character of yours, which is, self-conclusion, who never really know how to get to the bottom of the meaning with the use of any hidden clues. I hope you're not under any NPCC organisation. If you are, i totally feel sorry for you. Not only that, by you saying that i've wasted my messages for wishing you all good, has actually make known to me another character of yours. Again, from those words of yours, you've potrayed how unappreciative you are towards others. Secondly, you have no humanity character in you, for you dosen't really know the true meaning of sincerity. I did say I am sincere in making friends with you, thus i don't see myself wasting my messages for wishing you both happiness and the best for your exams. Hence, you, better don't try to see faults in others without seeing through yourself. Seperti bak kata pepatah melayu, bagaikan kuali kata belanga hitam.

Thorn:
That's more i like it. Well, you're worth a friend better than some others who just gives up. You should know me better now. Welcome abroad.


.
.
.

And they're still continue messaging each other ever since afternoon.



Chaotic people they are!
Aren't they? =b

Labels: Time Checked: 10:08 PM

A week of term break extension.
Another week of holiday.
Another week of studying.
Another week of Common Tests preparation

Sum up to.......

JOYOUSNESS



On a sad note, i'm gonna miss my friends, those funny lecturers and mostly my very classmates, the hyper EC0909! hehs! (:

Why not held a self class tutorial in school for that week? Without the lecturers of cos! LOL!
Something that both Loksang and me came up with, haha!

Curently going insane due to 3 hours of Analogue Electronics.
Fortunately, there are some snacks for me to munch on. Yea, i'm still munching on them, despite being prevented by ibu since hours ago.

Ibu:
Kak, kakak dah gemuk tau. Jangan makan lagi.

For once, the very first time, ibu actually stopped me from eating. Well, maybe true, i've grown horizontally, leading me to obesity. Downright Saddened by the thought of it.

Today's plan was to study with the usual people but unfortunately, many of us couldnt make it, in which left with only a few. Thus, it was postponed to the next day instead. Probably it will be held in school. Mummy Nang, please join us! Your daughter here misses you so much! Couldn't bear the missing presence she's been feeling, lol!

For the past few days, I was apparently disturbed by certain things which i, myself couldnt really lay my finger on. Many things have been running through my mind. From one thing to another. Somewhat accumulates into a big gigantic ball. That really put me into an intense stargazing. Not really a woolgathering moment but apparently something that torments the mind. Well, definitely i can choose to ignore all about it but the thing is, i couldn't, no matter how much i want it to. Somehow i felt like as though I was being haunted by it every moment. Initially, thought of talking it to both my parents. Alas, there are nothing to lay out. I couldnt find anything to array to them about the problem. In another words, i'm unsure of the things that have been haunting me. It's too much, too much to single each one of them out. Strange, I know. But that's the fact.

Fortunately there were both Annisa and Bigbro Izwan to entertain me. I was on the MSN yesterday night. Webcam-ed with Annisa and Chatted with Bigbro Izwan. Thanks to them, i could somewhat kicked off the insomnia disease in me. Acting like a child, potraying my nonsense were the things i impersonated while chatting with the both of them. I wasn't in the right state so i just typed out anything that instantly came to mind. Nonetheless, they still entertained me with not only their long replies but with full of gags too, hee (:

Serious conversation is something i dont wish to indulge in at the moment. Well, being in this state, talking about those adult thinking stuffs can lead me to bonkers!

-2009 is just not my year. Seems like Ive digressed myself from being my trueself. Lost it somewhere stranded, i believe.

Nevertheless, i'm thankful that ive met a bunch of mirthful people (:
My EC0909 <3



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.
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Like the past, you came again, haunting me after the built of the grave. An illusion, i believe.
Somehow, something just tells me, this is not only a clap of a hand. I don't wish to dig the grave ever. What's more seeing the corpse get back to life. Stay where you are and remain the ashes at where it is. Say goodbye, till eternity.

Aeynn.

Under one roof, we all became one. The bond grows and blossom, united as a family. As another day comes, our concern for each other will uprise. With that, I'm sure the day that we have to go apart will become a phenomenon tragedy. I'm already missing them, my very EC0909! (:

Overnight the whole of 3 days 2 night event. Chatted with the guys about all things. They're the best talking companions, really. Ben and Gary were telling me about the difference between being Protective and being Possessive.

Protective - They don't hinder us from doing what we want. Instead they'll support us from behind. At the same time, they will have their eyes on us, protecting us from afar. Each time when we need them, there will never be a time when they say No. In a nutshell, they will try their best to leave everything and come to our rescue.

Possessive - They'll stop us from doing what we want. Afraid something bad might happen. Yea, they're being concern, because they love us. But will not be there for us. They only want us for their own. Is never really there to protect or come to our rescue when we need them the most. Basically, friends are much more important to them.

Gosh! Don't ask me to fall in love any time sooner. I donwanna fall in the hand of someone who's irresponsible of my being! Actually, if i were to be in a relationship, i doubt i'd even overnight there. What's more sharing the room with the guys, hehs. Fortunately, im single. Hoho! (If Ayah were to find this out, i rather kill myself now! Gulps)

First night was the night of horror movie. Everyone gathered at the living room and yes, i shouted the most. I wonder where has my bravery side gone to. I'm becoming more timid by the day. BUT, that dosent mean im afraid of the dark. Darkness is my forte yaw! (:

Bbq-ing was on the second night. Both Ady and Kai brought their girlfriend along. The couples of the BBQ night, hehs. Effing sweet! I brought SISkaseh by myside.
She's the boyfriend, shes the girlfriend! Hahs. Photo Gatherings were taken using both Jeya and Loksang's digicam. Ill post them once i recieved it from them! Nicey!

Pasir ris beach during night time was superb. Sidetracked myself from the chalet and walked alone by the seaside. Wanted a peace of mind. Sat on the rock with many things jumbled everywhere up there in the mind. They were colourful. Also, they were black and whites. Like a movie without sound, they manoeuvred in my head. After which about 20 min later, i went back to the chalet before we, the malay group headed Ehub.

Initially wanted to roll the ball. However, we changed our mind and hit the cinema instead. Ghosts of girlfriends past. I love that story, can i? Ouh yes, I hate flirtatious guys, mind that! (: Anytime sooner, i shall forget all about you. Period!

The people who went :
Ady & Izyan
Syahmeer, Helmi & Hasif
Kaseh & myself.

Sent both Kaseh and Izyan to the bus stop right after the movie which ended at about 1130pm. We then walked back to the chalet before Hasif bid us goodbye.

I wasn't in the right mood that night. Slept after the last sms i sent to someone. Didnt get to stay throughout the night. Perhaps because........ nevermind. I don think you'd even care, will you?

The next morning, the moment i woke up, the first thing that came to mind was... "Shit! I'm dead!" Straight away sms-ed Bigbrother izwan about it. Thanks bigbrother for entertaining me! Hehs. Never thought it'd be that early! Gosh! Why that early? Aiyea! Well, forget it.

p/s: The night wasnt that good. Didnt have a very good sleep. Rmbr, i wasnt feeling all great before i went to sleep? So yea, thats the answer to your question.

Afterwhich, home sweet home and slept throughout the day.


You've kidnapped my heart.
And now, i plead you to return it back to me.
I see no future in this. Neither do i think it'd go far.
Every move we took was a mistake.
An innocent mistake i shall name it.
Be back to square one, i know we could.
And definitely would.

I miss those time,
the time when we used to joke around.
Called each other name.
Disturbing one another.
Everything was free and easy.
Need no looking right and left,
for if there were any paparazi behind.

But, im gonna miss this awkward moment between us more in the near future,
i believe.

Thanks for everything, to you.
I shall breathe in hard, and EXHALE, let go.
Once again, the sun shall set, goodbye.

(More photos with Jeya and Loksang)



























14th June 2009

Various kind of thoughts have been running through my mind for the past few days. I never felt this kind of trauma before throughout this 18 years of my life. Trauma? Well according to the dictionary, it is an emotional wound or shock often having long-lasting effects. True enough, i'm having that kind of issues.

P/S: Sunset was in once in my vein. But you rose it up and presented me with a sunrise. Even so, the light was too splendour that i couldnt help myself to close my eyes and remain in that darkness.

I wish the light you possessed would shine through me one day. May this lasts till eternity (:

Done with it.

Supposedly, there should be an outing for the E1/E2 people. Unfortunately due to some problems, it was posponed to another day. Hopefully the next time round, everything would go on well. Thus, instead the GFs went out together having a day of our own. Awesome!

While I was on my way to meet Dee at Pasiris inter, i bumped into Dzariff. Been aeons since i met that smiley guy, hahas! Had a quick chat with him before we bid each other goodbye. Hey you, we shall all meet up soon alright! Hehs! Somehow, I'm missing the boys larhh!!

Well, even though my relationship with hilmi has terminated, that dosen't mean the friendship i acquired from his friends should also be put an end. Hell no! hahs.

Speaking of which, Azeez's birthday is in a few days time! Happy Advance 21st birthday MRazeez! Rindu kamu banyak-banyak. =DD

Back to where i was, met up with Dee and i instantly hugged her tight! Been a while since i last gave a peck on her cheek! Hahas! Ok, if hilmi-mimi were to read this, he's gonna throw tantrums at me once more. Grr! That guy ehh, can never see me happy with dee! Haiyo! LOL! haha. Talking about Dee, sometimes i wonder who is the ROMEO and who is the JULIET. She used to be a perfect romeo a juliet can ever found. However, for some reasons, it seems that i have to take that very position despite me being the JULIET. Therefore, now, a Romeo task is what i'm currrently engaging myself in. Graaah!

From Pasir ris inter, we took the train down to Dhoby Ghaut and met up with Elfyee at Plaza Singapura's entrance. Gosh! You can never imagine how excited we became the moment we saw each other. Haha. As usual, we'd make a whole lot of commotion that people would give us that endless stare. Hehs! Had our lunch together at LJ before we headed Cathay for our afternoon movie; ''DRAG ME TO HELL''

That movie was superb! Horror yet AMUSING to us! Lol! Each time when the revulsion scene appear, the three of us would hold one-third of Elfyee's sweater and cover part of our eyes with it. Then, when we were appalled by the horifying creature, instead of YELLING out loud, we LAUGHED TILL OUR LAST TEARS! And the bestest thing was, being only trios, we boisterously sounded like tripple of us. LOLs!

By then, it was already becoming dusk. Camwhored and made our way home. Happy moments! (:


ps: GFs, sometimes i wonder what is life without you girls. I can never imagine myself being all apart and seeing myself a stranger to both of you. Relationships, they come and go. Yes, it definitely a sweet moments having a bf by the side. But compared to you girls, the friendship we have acquired since ages ago, is something unexchangeable. I can never convert them to any other matter, never. Age increasing, more dramas in life, different people we encounter but the bond in us, the love we share, the friendship we took on will never be replaced. Always and forever it will be etched not only in the mind but also in the heart. Till eternity, my loves! (:

The day that we first met,
in my mind I still see,
you doing your work, all alone, solely .
I myself then, drew close to you that day,
neither of us knowing what the hell to say.

But we got through the awkward times, and quickly came to be,
the best of friends to each other, we could ever be.
The closer we grew, the more we left, the other world behind,
just me and you we jumped into a new place totally blind.
We prayed together our friendship forever, and always would stay the same,
but time has passed, only memories last, and little friendship remains.

WE ONCE WERE ONE! I screamed at you, I want my best friend back!
But we both realized at once it was that bond we lacked.
You think it doesn't hurt me, to see us back to two,
looking to my left and right to see there is no you.

But worry not my sugar, everything will be okay.
For within my heart our memories will always stay,
Forever...

Because a part of you will be with me always, to forget you
Never...

Yours truly,
Nur (:

Different. As though your eyes are blind. Sincere. Faithful. Something i see in your being. In which the way how you carry yourself. Quiet. Innocent. Those are the words i would describe the whole you. Inside out something i have never seen in any one else. Once had past. Having you in the presence somehow bring back the memories. From a far, i feel you so near. Being near, you seem so far. Tell me how. Unsure of this agenda. Somewhat keep haunting me. A stranger you are, definitely. A friend, i pray in times t0 c0me.

Maths test in less than an hour more, hoho!

Excited for the 3 days 2 nights Chalet!
Yessah! (:

Followed by the term tests, UNFORTUNATELY!

Takecare!

For the past few days, it seems that my energy level has decreased. I didnt seem to see that hyper side of me any more. Something that i used to proudly own. Now, i tend to delay most of my work. Be it assignments or any other activities. Thus, it is no surprise to see the rise in my weight. Gosh! Sleeping has been a pleasure to me. And it truly scares me to death. (Reasons to why i've been taking cab to school recently, Argh!) Hopefully, once the examinations have ended, i wish for a new start. A new boost for me. Terribly in need of the energy back!

-CMS
-MiniProject 1005
-Project 1014

All that within a week. Before the end of next week. Not forgetting all revisions for the 8 modules. In which one week of the study break, i'll be down with 1 camp and 2 overnight chalets, in relations with school. Hence, left with only a week more to prepare myself with the upcoming papers. Burning the midnight oil shall start from today onwards! No more delay. Gosh!

And i miss my girlfriends loads!
Not forgetting my cousin Ezzan.
Beeen aeons since we last met!
And ouh, i badly in need to ask Siskaseh out for a date after the papers.
I miss her, very!
To Annisa, i'm sorry.
I'll make up for everything. Do note that I'm always here (:

Math lecture will be starting in 15 min time. Hoho.
Hitting the gym with Ben, Shaun and Gary right after it, Yay!
Excited. Seriously can't wait to shed all the excess fats. Maybe some as I still want some paddings, hehs!

p/s: The feeling is damn shiok having no guys at heart. haha! Serious. Feelings i have for everyone are all neutral. No time to even think of them, hoho! That proves how tight my schedule is. Ironically, I'm loving every second of it (: