I was all alone lying down on my bed with my disturbed mind which was simply due to a lot of thing. That explained the reason why I've been feeling emotionally down for the past few days. Reality struck me really hard that i couldn't seem to refresh my mind, nor myself. Fortunately, i was scheduled in a morning shift, where all of my colleagues are a bunch of mirthful people. However, this will last till 10 November. After which, i will then have to get to back to my afternoon duty.

Back to where i was, i was trying hard to feel better by lying down on my bed with my eyes gazing at the stars above through the window. Suddenly, a phrase which i originated from myself came across my mind. "Stop asking stupid questions!" It sprung up during the time when there was a quarrel between both BF and me.

It then suddenly reminded me of something. Something which I've been hearing for innumerable time. Something which was always told by many people, for instance, my parents, teachers, colleagues, friends, etc. "If you don't know, ask!"

That is such a simple principle that even children can understand it. What is communication but the pursuit of understanding? And the way in which we strive to understand each other is by asking questions. Well, it seems to be the most natural thing in the world but it seems that growing adults tend to lose sight of this mantra. Probably because as our knowledge and experiences increases, we tend to think that we know all that there is to know. Or perhaps, to growing adults' believing, asking questions is a sign of ignorance and most people don't like to embarrass themselves and appear vulnerable.

Well, come to think of it again, if not because of some stupid random questions, there weren't be any weird yet interesting inventions which turn out to our advantages right now. For example, Teflon and ATMs. Without them, probably we will still be frying omelette that will stick to the pan and won't be able to take up money as easily as taking it out from our wallet.

p/s: Bf, i'm sorry for hushing you the other day.

Enough of that. Anyway, it seems like a week since I've the chance to update my blog. Well, like I've said, I was down with some emotional crisis. Thus, i felt no mood to update any. Even if i did, it won't be proper. There will be junks all over. And I hate to see junks scattering everywhere.

First and foremost, Happy 5 years 5 days MRbf. It has been a 5 year long since the very first day we became together. Many things happened. Be it pleasant or the otherwise. But one thing for sure, because of those happiness and sorrows we underwent together, we became a wiser person by the day, not only in our relationship matters but also about the importance of life. You taught me a lot of things that i find a teacher in you. You were there guiding me through my papers despite how troublesome it was to understand me. You were there being very patient when i did hurtful things to you. Basically, you taught me what patience is. Due to those, i can really feel your sincerity towards me. Even how frequent I've saddened you with my words and doings, you are still here, never fail to stay by my side showering me with love and care.

I then read through again a compo of writing that I dedicated to BF during our long separation which occurred 2 years before. I wrote it in a letter right after i've saved it my document. After which, it was given to him, with a thinking that it might be a real farewell between us.

Part of the letter, which was towards the end. That was about one-fifth of it.

akhir sekali, ingin adik luahkan sesuatu yang datang dari lubuk hati adik...
sesungguhnya adik masih teramat menyayangi abg. ini adalah kenyataannya abg.
mungkin kita tidak akan bersama lagi. namun, adik ingin abg tahu bahawa sekiranya
abang masih memerlukan cinta adik pada suatu hari nanti.. ingatlah bahawa hati adik
akan selalu terbuka untuk abang. adik akan selalu berdoa akan kesejahteraan cinta kita. namun, ini bukan bermakna adik menghalang abang untuk bersama dgn insan lain. tidak. seperti mana yang telah adik nyatakan tadi, seandainya kita memang ditakdirkan bersama, kita akan tetap bersama. walau apapon rintangan dan dugaan yang datang melanda.

salam sayang,
ADIKain (:

having u by my side is a blessing from god.
i've never thought your presence meant so much to me
neither have i thought u'd leave a great impact on my life.
until now,
u've given me joy and laughter
which i'm really grateful for
but thought it was forever,
i took it for granted and never treasured them.
how silly i was to have believed so much
in this fairytale of mine with u in the picture.
i know very well why u're doing this.
for the sake of your own happiness that is.
so here i am.. letting u free to be with 'her'.
silently hoping u would realise
the one u're really looking for..
was the one who set u free.

thanks for the love u had showered on me..
although it means
happiness for a momentary
but misery for a life-time.

And really, i never thought we'd be this long. Moga kita berkekalan hingga ke akhir hayat, Insyaallah (:




Yesterday was awesome. Pizza hut at Marina Square with the sibling and cousin together with my precious bf. Surely, we all had a great time together (:



Not forgetting, my powerpuff girls. Before meeting those sweethearts above, met up with the girls for a short while. Missing them terribly! Gonna meet up again right after the results
(:




By the way, I've another story to rave it here. However, i don't feel that energetic today. More to that, I'm not in the mood to rant any much further. Thus, i shall just hand everything to the photos to do the story telling. Anyhow, i really have a fabulous picnic with cousin Ezan on the 27th December (:

















Despite all the troubles i've to go through, life is still a best friend. It wont happen if its not because of the best people i have in my life. Namely, my family, bf, friends, colleagues and whoever that came to colour my world for the past few days during my down period. Thanks guys! (: Appreciate it much! (:

PS: I'm missing my GFs so much! So much that i feel like meeting them at this very second! Girls, please tell me when u're free so that i can apply an off day just for you girls! Do inform me, yea! (: